Another week, another slew of new music. Of course, you don’t know that because you’ve been listening to Title Fight exclusively for the last five years. To say we’re concerned about you doesn’t even begin to describe our level of disturbance. There’s an entire world out there, and you’re banishing yourself from it with your dated and uncomplicated tastes. Fear not, we’re here to break you out of the vicious cycle that has consumed you whole. Here are eight songs to help guide you into a magical state in which you have relevant pop-culture references and maybe even friends.
Blink-182 “Dance With Me”
As their forthcoming album looms ever closer, the newly reformed blink-182 continues to pummel us with new hit after new hit. “Dance With Me” – whose accompanying video features an inexplicable scene in which a nearly 50-year-old Tom Delonge, dressed as a barely passable Joey Ramone, breaks through a wall to non-consensually grab a guy’s dick – is as much of a return to form as any we’ve heard from the band at this point. It’s got that thing where the guitar drops out and Mark just plays a single bass note really fast with the drums. It’s got a chant along part in the chorus (featuring an ‘o’le’ for some reason). It also has Travis doing his patented batshit drum fills all over the place. Sure, it’s no ‘First Date,’ but it gets the job done.
FIDLAR “Move On”
FIDLAR’s latest details the trials and tribulations of starting anew when ‘best friends turn into used-to-be-friends’ according to lead singer Zac Carter. Weaving from genres as disparate as metal and ska, ‘Move On’ is a blistering ride that is sure to make you feel better about your utter and complete inability to accept adulthood realities and their sorrows. While we’re used to hearing the likes of the now-trio FIDLAR on video game soundtracks like ‘Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater,’ it appears this single in particular is headed for EA Sports’ upcoming ‘NHL 2K4’ soundtrack, fulfilling long foretold punk and hardcore prophecies.
Lung “Cash Machine”
Cincinnati, Ohio’s larger than life cello/drum duo is back at it. This time in the form of a split LP with Conan Neutron & the Secret Friends, entitled ‘Adult Prom.’ While we’re pretty sure it’s the soundtrack to the scariest imaginary school dance we’ve ever attended, it undeniably rips in its entirety. If you’re new to either band, ‘Cash Machine’ – which is sadly not a cover of Shelley FKA Dram’s song of the same name, but still great – serves as an incredible primer for those getting into Lung, as it features their signature dizzying harmonies and shark-toothed cello from Kate Wakefield, as well as kick-your-entire-shit-in drums from Daisy Caplan.
Mary Lynn “Turn It Around”
Have you ever wondered what it would sound like if Taylor Swift hung out with a bunch of dirty punks (Matt Healy doesn’t count) and recorded a rock record? Wonder no more, because singer-songwriter Mary Lynn has made your depraved thoughts a reality. On her third record, ‘Where I Wanna Be,’ MMFL (as she is lovingly known as by fans) blends her trademark powerhouse hooks and lyrical vulnerability with ferocious guitars and a thundering rhythm section, marking a notable departure from her previous piano-driven efforts. Album highlight ‘Turn It Around’ is a raucous power-pop hit that’s sure to ‘turn around’ whatever sour mood you’re inevitably in today.
Jobs “There Is Differing”
We’ll be honest, we’re not sure this is even music but that isn’t stopping one of our senior writers from playing it on repeat while demanding we acknowledge it as such. To say it’s grown on us would be an understatement. Brooklyn’s experimental quartet JOBS has a long history of toying with the boundaries of the indie-pop-realm, and ‘This Is Differing’ from their latest album ‘Soft Sounds’ is anything but ‘differing’ from their norm. While their genre is incredibly difficult to pinpoint, be warned that this track may kick-start your recurring prog phase. We won’t apologize to you or your friends due to the aforementioned warning.
Blood Command “Bare Witness”
Oh shiiiiiiit. Blood Command is back, and apparently with a fucking vengeance. Their latest album ‘World Domination’ rips through twenty blazing death pop tracks in just over a half an hour, making for a disorienting, chaotic, incredibly satisfying ride. Album highlight ‘Bare Witness’ combines some of the band’s heaviest elements into one mini-epic that barely breaks the two-minute mark. Let this be a lesson that no one wants to wait a full three minutes for your hardcore band to get to the breakdown.
U.D.O “Touchdown”
Fall is here. It’s the season of colorful crunchy leaves, gourd flavored coffee drinks, and grown men having near heart attacks and brain aneurysms when their favorite football team fails to do the thing they’re supposed to do with the ball, or whatever. Whether you’re a rabid fan or think the whole sport is stupid, Germany’s long-standing heavy metal institution U.D.O has you covered with their single ‘Touchdown.’ Maybe it’s syntax, but the brilliant thing about this one is there is no way to tell if its lyrics are sincere or satirical, making it a great song to play on game day or in front of the friends to which you pretend not to like sports.
Viagra Boys “Punk Rock Loser”
Every weekday, at around 8:55 in the morning, a flurry of interns at Hard Times HQ scramble to set up a complex series of Bluetooth speakers leading to the front door of our offices. From there they queue up last year’s Viagra Boys single ‘Punk Rock Loser’ and wait for our Managing Editor’s Uber to arrive. A clause in her contract requires us to provide her with a walk-in theme. It’s incredibly disruptive, and it doesn’t look half as cool as she thinks it does when she walks in deliberate slow-motion to the entrance of the writer’s room, but rules are rules and we’re afraid of her lawyer.
Michael Mann’s adaptation of “Red Dragon,” the prequel to “The Silence of The Lambs” is stylish, kinetic and truly unnerving. Brian Cox’s take on Hannibal Lecter is severely underrated, and character actor Tom Noonan is every bit as unsettling as he would go on to be in films like “The House of the Devil.” I just threw up a bunch of creepy crawlers. There isn’t much time.
Vampires wreak havoc on an isolated Alaskan town that experiences 30 straight days of darkness every winter. It’s an interesting premise that the film doesn’t quite live up to, but my right foot is now a Gizmo doll and I’m not sure if “The Grey” counts as horror so let’s move on.
Angered that God gave souls to man, an archangel played by Christopher Walken wages war in heaven, and seeks the ultimate weapon, which is a retired general in Arizona for some reason. It’s a lot less scary now that I know catholicism is bogus and whatever religion that lady who cursed me follows is clearly the right one.
Fun fact: The original Jason Voorhees costume from “Friday The 13th Part 2” is a direct ripoff of the killer in this movie, which is based on actual events.
There are a ton of horror movies set in L.A., but none of them are quite as iconic as this San Fransisco-based remake of “Invasion of the Body Snatchers.” The movie starts with a cozy ‘70s vibe which soon gives way to paranoia, an unhinged young Jeff Goldblum, and one of the most unnerving endings in film history. There, I made my decision. Please spirits, stop turning my thumb into a people-pod!
Easy pick here. “The Shining” isn’t just considered one of the greatest horror movies of all time, it’s considered one of the greatest movies period. Hey, I just got a shining from the witch lady who cursed me. She says this is a waste of time and I suck.
There’s nothing more Connecticut than a small haunted hotel in a quaint little town. Based on and primarily filmed in an allegedly haunted Inn in Torrington CT, Ty West’s “The Innkeepers” is an instant classic of New England horror. Hey, spirits, can I have my penis back?
Not Romero’s best, arguably his worst in fact, but do you know how many movies are set in Deleware? Like five.
The worst entry of Romero’s initial Dead trilogy is still one of the best zombie movies ever made. It can’t be said to really capture the essence of Florida since most of the movie takes place in an underground bunker, but then again if I had to live in Florida that’s where I would want to stay too. In real life, there are worse things than zombies in the Sunshine State.
This B-movie classic is set in Georgia, and Michael Moriarty has the community theater-level southern accent to prove it!
Longtime, casual and fair-weather fans of The Aquabats’ music, personas, stage clothes, and goofy, goofy banter likely don’t know too much about the band’s newest LP “Kooky Spooky… In Stereo” as it came out at the height of the pandemic, and we all had other things to think about. Still, like its six predecessors, this LP puts the “enjo” in “enjoyable,” and this record is absolutely perfect for bubbly babies, acerbically witty adolescents, newly married twenty-somethings, and ne’er do well nursing homes sans Ben Stiller’s character in “Happy Gilmore” but with Wheel of Fortune’s letter turner Bob Barker. Continuing the sterling and sound tradition that the band started on their fourth studio album “Charge!,” the wild and crazy (The) Aquabats ended each song title with an exclamation point, and were happy to yell this at the sun in both bold and italic… They just want to party!
The Aquabats’ fourth LP “Charge!!” actually doubles as a naval command and an Uber/Lyft shriek, and picks up where its odd-in-the-best way third/underrated record “The Aquabats vs. the Floating Eye of Death!” with an almost total upstroke elimination segueing into Devo territory. Released on The Offspring and American Airlines’ Dexter Holland and the former Offspring bassist, Greg K. of Kmart’s now-defunct label Nitro Records, previous home to AFI, Crime in Stereo, formerly featuring current Aquabats guitarist Ian “Eagle ‘Bones’ Falconhawk” Fowles, who joined The Aquabats on their next wet release, “Hi-Five Soup!,” Son of Sam, and ColdBrew, this record served as a comeback to many misinformed dumbos who were turned off by its fantastic predecessor. The band released various compilations, EPs, and laserdiscs between album number three and four, and this LP had the longest gap between full-lengths until the year of our lord known as 2020.
Hey homies, “Hi-Five Soup!” is undoubtedly the best Aquabats LP of the 21st century, and we will get soaked for its cause. Its album cover is a fun outer space venture honoring New England Clam Chowder’s relationship with your left hand, whilst your right one swings back in the form of a former B.F.F. fisticuff session twice to honor each exclamation point in this studio album’s title, providing awesome forces in your dreams/pants. Fun fact: The late and great distinct rapper/icon/Czar Biz Markie is featured on track four, “Radio Down?” and said song provides a confluence of emotions and/or an FM wheelie! Speaking of features, Strong Bad, a fictional character from “Homestar Runner” also cameos on “Pink Pants! In closing, The Aquabats’ independently filmed TV pilot “The Aquabats! Super Show!” got picked up by The Hub a few months after this record came out.
The one that started it all, “The Return of The Aquabats,” is actually a sequel to a self-titled LP that doesn’t exist? The world may never know! Speaking of sequels, “Martian Girl,” “Idiot Box,” and “Playdough” appear in re-recorded form on “The Fury of The Aquabats,” and “Playdough” itself has the distinction of being this album’s opening track and its follow-up’s bonus hidden track… It’s crazy, man! Self-released on their own label Horchata Records, also home to the underrated Attaboy Skip, and eventually re-released by Fearless Records, the current home to Chase Atlantic, Boys Like Girls, and Bon Jovi six years later, we want to give a shout out to the OG AB mega line-up consisting of The Caped Commander, The Caped Crusader, Chain Saw, OC’s Chain Reaction, The Brain, Pinky, Crash McLarson, Crash Romeo, Roddy B., “Rowdy” Roddy Piper, Nacho, Queso, Cat Boy, Batgirl, Prince A., and Meghan Markle.
The Aquabats’ third album “The Aquabats vs. the Floating Eye of Death!” is the last of three LPs to contain the band’s name in its title, but this one is divisive amongst the band’s fans and polarizing for others. Still, this is the band’s last 1990s album, and caused the then-eight piece much pain and strife, as it fell quite short of expected sales, forced the band to be dropped from the label one year later, and created a hiatus of sorts for the next batch of years. Sometimes great art isn’t appreciated by the public until years later, or ever, as people be stupid, but this record stands the test of time for its creativity. To put it simply, no album from any band pre-1999 and 2000-beyond sounds like this one, and “Giant Robot-Birdhead” should be an anthem for anyone with taste… Hello/good night!
Sophomore slump or comeback of the year? Both? Neither? The Aquabats execute surf guitar in some form on each LP, but this album “The Fury of The Aquabats has a theme song and a metaphorical one echoing peak Dick Dale. 1997 was also a peak year for the ska/ska-punk/third-wave/swing world with the ultra-successful The Mighty Mighty Bosstones “Let’s Face It,” Goldfinger’s “Hang-Ups,” Save Ferris’ “It Means Everything,” and Lord Belial’s two-tone classic “Enter the Moonlight Gate” records. Also, this album briefly broke the band into the mainstream with the band’s now-anthem “Super Rad!,” of which Scullions’ Bobcat “Evil but Eventually Good Zed from ‘Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment’ and several other of its sequels, or “Shakes the Clown” if you Want to Laugh/Cry” Goldthwait directed was featured on your idiot box via MTV.