NEW YORK – Local 22-year-old Jacob Alvarez described your all-time favorite album, which you routinely credit with saving your life, as an interesting piece of…
LOS ANGELES — After an ambitious attempt at a simple flatground kickflip, it appears that you have absolutely broken your back, sources wincing sympathetically confirm.…
Former Smiths singer Steven Patrick Morrissey was one of the leading lights of the 1980s boom of Manchester post-punk rock, sensationalizing critics with his witty,…
Vampire. Nosferatu. The un-dead. Legends of unholy, immortal creatures with a thirst for human blood have existed for centuries. Could such a long-enduring myth have…
NEW YORK — Serial party animal Andrew W.K. shocked fans with his new acoustic album “Let’s Get This Get Together Over by Nine” which showed…
LA MESA, Calif. – A group of 38-year-olds attending last night’s Social Narcolepsy gig reportedly spent the entire show discussing the best route home, confirmed…
SALT LAKE CITY — Local motherfuckers expressed their displeasure with the lead singer of hardcore band Big Butter for repeatedly and maliciously singling them out…
BOSTON — Merriam-Webster caused 45-year-olds across the country to collectively blow a gasket by adding “vinyls” as an official entry to their list of recognized…
SHERIDAN, Wyo. — Elder millennial Connor Allison suffered an existential crisis upon realizing the actor playing a “geriatric old fart” in one of his favorite…
CHICAGO — Seminal emo band Sunny Day Real Estate is set to perform a show that will hopefully be at a reasonable volume and over…
I never thought I would find myself in a place complaining about the “music these kids listen to,” but it seems the older I get,…
I had a plan! My star was going to shine so brightly that it burned out before my time! I was supposed to get stupid…
Remember when your parents would watch 60 Minutes? You knew it was the end of the weekend. It symbolized the death of your free time…
The 1990s were such a simpler time in America where, truly, we as a country didn’t have any major troubles or conflicts. It is just…
ATLANTA — Thirty-four-year-old music enthusiast Dave Kelly went to exhaustive efforts to determine if his local music venue The Pit Stop offered any form of…