MONTREAL — Electro-funk duo Chromeo announced that they will be swapping out their long-legged keyboards’ signature heels for Dansko clogs, which are considered the gold…
LOS ANGELES — Long-time fans of the seminal melodic hardcore punk band Bad Religion were surprised by the unexpected release of their 18th studio album,…
COLTS NECK, N.J. — 40-year-old Luke Childers grew increasingly despondent as his birthday party came to a close, realizing for the third decade in a…
There have been plenty of reported miracles throughout the course of human history, ranging from Christ’s resurrection after his crucifixion at the hands of the…
In the words of Steve Miller and his band, time keeps on slipping into the future. Do you want to feel old? Well, guess what?…
LOS ANGELES — Citing the ever-increasing reality of their impending mortality, members of the iconic punk band Broken Tongue announced the original line-up was getting…
Eric Celia, a fervent Blink-182 fan, recently found himself in a predicament that echoed his favorite band’s “Enema of the State” single “What’s My Age…
Yet another lifeless week has passed you by without fanfare. While you’ve tried to keep a cool head about it, you feel your relevancy and…
PITTSBURGH – Aging metalhead Derek Vance made the mistake of trying to slip into his wedding battle vest to celebrate his 25 year anniversary with…
The 1990s were filled with Friday night Blockbuster video game rentals, Pizza Hut’s Bigfoot pizza, and the only Woodstock that mattered, but now it’s hard…
HAZELTON, Pa. — Former President Trump took time during a campaign rally to brag about successfully completing another cognitive test after finishing the puzzles on…
TONAWANDA, N.Y. — 39-year-old Kyle Lowe recently began a new and horrifying phase of his adulthood where he now almost exclusively begins any interaction by…
Looking back on my life I’ve realized that I’ve made a lot of mistakes. But these are the things you learn about yourself when storming…
PHILADELPHIA– A group of local concertgoers in their late 30s were spotted this past weekend excitedly passing around a little baggie of ear plugs they…
BUFFALO, N.Y. — Aging tricenarian Colleen Myers admitted to being surprised by the sheer amount of conversations she is having about acquaintances passing when catching…