BOSTON — Dropkick Murphys bagpipe player Campbell Webster was seen frantically Googling “puke bagpipes clean help Boston,” confirmed sources who gave him a “good luck…
Experts say taking care of your mental health is one of the most important things you can do. That’s why this year I finally decided…
LOWELL, Mass. — Local boozehound Dennis McLaughlin was divinely inspired to continue to drink to the point of incoherence after witnessing an image of former…
WILLIAMSBURG, Va. — Local Confederate LARPer Dale McKagney was known around town as a loser in his everyday life which coincided with his role-playing life,…
I get that everyone else is super excited about Bon Iver’s new album of melancholy love songs, but, buddy, I cannot wait for that creep…
ATLANTA — Local battle rapper Slim Todd Paulson was apparently surprised that so many of his opponents in a recent competition slept with his mother,…
We’ve made it through yet another week with at least some semblance of sanity left. To ensure you burn off that extra little bit while…
BRAUNAU AM INN, Austria — Democratic Congressman David Eastlund of Nevada bent the rules of time and space as we know it to go back…
We’ve listened to a lot of AI-generated songs in our time, and let’s be honest, it’s been laughably bad. To think, we’ve been so worried…
COLTS NECK, N.J. — The grandchildren of legendary musical artist Bruce Springsteen are reportedly exhausted after being serenaded with a soul-scorching series of lullabies that…
DULUTH, Minn. — The massive tech billionaire-run oligarchy suffered a devastating blow today as local account coordinator and frisbee golf enthusiast, Michael Murray, created an…
Look, I know I’m not perfect. Me and my boys, we got a reputation for getting a little riled up at times. Maybe we could…
NEW YORK — Local ad agency Brunch Menu launched a new advertising campaign that simply read, “These aren’t your dad’s skinny jeans,” confusing every onlooker…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local noise festival Thwack Fest announced it would be partnering with their sponsors Harbor Freight and Excedrin to give festivalgoers a weekend…
Well, it’s been a long and particularly depressing winter, and it started to feel like it would never end, but wouldn’t you know it, spring…