Hey, losers! Thanks for checking out my stuff. As you know, I’ve been preparing to launch my new album/channel/swimwear/lifestyle brand for the past decade now,…
PIKETON, Ohio — A Dell XPS desktop computer belonging to the Piketon Public Library is starting to get nervous upon hearing reports that remote learning…
Neutral Milk Hotel rose to prominence at the dawn of the internet age for their surrealistic lyrics and eclectic instrumentation that defied categorization. But did…
WASHINGTON — Two 20-step staircases at local venue The Disco Motel are among the most hated structures in the city, according to multiple breathless, annoyed…
WASHINGTON — President Biden paused his current efforts to pass the Freedom to Vote Act and the John Lewis Voting Rights Advancement Act in the…
BOSTON — Millennial and GenZ show-goers broke out into a fight after a disagreement on whether local punk band Alone Vera ripped or slapped during…
BREWSTER, N.Y. — Local parent and lifelong Republican Shane Holmes expressed concerns over the dangers his child faces in the event that she might be…
Wait, hold on. Go back a second. If you two are gay, then riddle me this: which one of you is the man, and which…
HAGERSTOWN, Md. — Local father Ron Merchant bought his daughter a record player so that the family’s hundreds of old vinyl albums would become her…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local golden retriever owned by the Blanchard family, Sammy, is aware that she’s totally out of the league of the relatively…
OAK PARK, Ill. — Lexie Henriques courageously ignored a notification suggesting it may be “Time to close Instagram?,” nobly ignoring the setting she enabled to…
Chewing your fingernails is a disgusting habit and there’s no better time to kick your lingering vice than right now. In fact, it’s much easier…
WASHINGTON — The United States Treasury announced they will introduce another round of ⅛” to ¼” adaptors into public circulation for the first time in…
Animators like their fun, don’t they? Since the advent of cartoons, creators have been inserting sly little references, and only the sharpest fans catch them.…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Close friends of YouTuber and chef Andrew Rea, of “Binging with Babish” fame, recently expressed their apprehension after the announcement of his…