BELLINGHAM, Wash. — A post to the popular classifieds website Craigslist advertising a couch for sale contained several barely-veiled references to the sofa’s rich sexual…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Punk dad Mike Schreiner allegedly bribed a local community college admissions office with billions of dollars worth of exposure to help ensure…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — A Wilco T-shirt mysteriously materialized last week in the closet of local man Steve Rosetti, the latest in a string of possibly…
Dear Scabby: I’m so sick of this cold weather. I wanna move someplace warm but I don’t know where to go, and all of my…
There is a lot being said about Michael Jackson at the moment. Rumors of monstrous behavior involving children have haunted Michael’s legacy for decades but…
FALL CITY, Wash. — Local punk Todd McCloud took the annual purge, allowing humanity to succumb to its most criminal desires for a single day,…
ADDISON, Ill. — Former student Francis “Frankie” Murray received an honorary GED yesterday from the administration of Addison Trail High School, celebrating 20 years since…
ATLANTA — The Weather Channel delighted its fans early this morning by announcing their eagerly awaited 2019 hurricane lineup, setting off a flurry of excitement…
TUCSON, Ariz. — Local woman Estelle Gladstone survived another night in her battle with cancer yesterday, therefore completely blowing the perfect memorial tattoo idea her…
BOSTON — Celtic punk stalwarts Dropkick Murphys settled their debts today after receiving payment for their increased Spotify plays leading up to St. Patrick’s Day,…
WORCESTER, Mass. — Undercover police officer and avowed Dropkick Murphys fan John McMullin made a sudden and brutal arrest of a single mosher during a…
The album Pinkerton is, without a shred of a doubt, the second Weezer record of all time. It lacks some of the studio polish and…
LOS ANGELES — Scientists warn that, without decisive and immediate action, California could become the topic of all songs by the year 2050, according to…
OAK RIDGE, Tenn. — The Doomsday Clock, a graphical representation of humanity’s impending doom, moved forward to 11:59:59 p.m. last week in anticipation of Louis…
PHILADELPHIA — Local man Eddie Lemburg was stunned today to learn that coworker Steve Winfers, who considers himself part of the LGBTQ community, is completely…