PORTLAND, Ore. — Fans of popular post-punk band Joy Division lined up for hours overnight to pick up a new reissue of the beloved 1979…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) This is the best week of the year to listen to your creative urges, Aries — try rolling your…
WASHINGTON — An Alcoholics Anonymous meeting was disrupted Friday evening when 27-year-old straight edge kid Drew “‘Till Death” Jackson arrived to announce his 10,000 day…
LOS ANGELES — Perpetually unemployed boyfriend Liam Womack announced yesterday that he will cease failing to author novels to pursue procrastinating on writing screenplays, apprehensive…
CLEVELAND — Your mom casually suggested last night, while you took a brief break during your band practice, that “you guys add a few James…
CHICAGO — Local record collector Toni Joyce organized her extensive vinyl collection yesterday by whatever basic life necessity the money spent on the record should…
ROANOKE, Va. — After watching three bands already, three more bands are scheduled to play before yours tonight at local punk venue Rodderly’s, despite the…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local 12-year-old Tanner Allen gave his father Grant a ride to Ace of Spades last night to see ska-punk legends The Aquabats…
SOUTH BEND, Ind. — An exhaustive interrogation after a show at the Cherry Pit last Saturday night revealed that “that squirrely kid” who asked to…
ARLINGTON, Va. — Local punk and 7” record collector Oliver Haggarty fully believes that vinyl records requiring listeners to sit for two minutes, and then…
SAN FRANCISCO — The “death” section of the Wikipedia page for punk legend Benny Core is far longer than any other category documenting the musician’s…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) There’s no faster way to an Aries’ heart than a well-timed compliment. You know it, and, unfortunately, so does…
CLEVELAND — Local child Dixie “Shortcake” Ross was utterly bewildered this week when her first day of kindergarten revealed a world unlike anything she’s ever…
ALLEN, Texas. — Annette Martin is allegedly tired of her husband’s foray into live music as a band-aid for his mid-life crisis, telling friends she…
MOSCOW — Guns ‘N’ Roses frontman Axl Rose was seen sprinting the length of Otkritie Arena last night to help sell the band’s shirts, patches,…