WASHINGTON — The leaders of the Democratic National Committee announced they plan to learn absolutely nothing from their embarrassing loss to President-elect Donald Trump, multiple…
WEST CHESTER, Penn. — Local Trump supporter Stephen Hall confirmed that he is happy about Trump’s win, but is a “little disappointed” that he won’t…
BINGHAMTON, N.Y. – Local World War II enthusiast Edward Spencer says he is looking forward to witnessing the rise of fascism unfold in real-time, horrified…
RICHMOND, Va. — Trey Bollinger, proud owner of a $91,273 Chevy Silverado 3500 HD, accused Tesla Cybertruck owners of being “totally fucking ridiculous,” confirmed sources…
It’s time we start to take better care of ourselves. We walk around with tense muscles that affect our blood circulation, stress, and proper posture.…
OTTAWA, Ontario — Beloved ‘90s singer-songwriter Alanis Morissette updated her classic song “Ironic” to highlight the absurdity that the only attractive member of Limp Bizkit,…
PEORIA, Ill. — A masked member of a local militia who was harassing people waiting in line to vote embarrassingly forgot where he left his…
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. — Former President Trump made a last-minute appeal to all potential voters with a simple message: “If you don’t vote for…
There is power in sending out postcards to encourage people to vote. They say in 2020 the number of postcards sent out in some swing…
This is the most important election in our lifetime and I’ll be damned if every vote isn’t counted fair and square and for the side…
PORTLAND, Maine — Local apolitical friend Bryce Flowers admitted that he is only watching the 2024 election coverage for the commercials, confirmed sources who were…
CHICAGO — The nation’s screen and novel horror writers resolved to continue killing every single dog that is unfortunate enough to make its way into…
Nostalgia can be as intoxicating as the most powerful liquor. In the events of the literary masterpiece “The Great Gatsby”, mixing nostalgia and actual liquor…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local boxed food mix Rice-A-Roni unveiled a new advertising campaign that featured them embracing their roots in the Bay Area thrash metal…
Every human has basic desires: the need for shelter, human touch, and access to Presidential Mukbang streams. It’s only natural that in the year of…