CHICAGO — Local metalhead Gary Dwyer cannot wait to “pound a sixer” of Old Style in the parking lot before Riot Fest, get nauseous, throw…
EL SOBRANTE, Calif. — Primus guitarist Larry “Ler” LaLonde quietly admitted today that he’d like to get one of his original songs onto one of…
MINNEAPOLIS — A guitarist for local metal outfit Goat Theory was fired last week, forced to shave his beard and return it to the group…
NEW YORK — Self-described anti-fascist black metal band Ornamental Sun admitted that, although the group’s lyrics often detail horrifically violent scenes of dismemberment and torture…
LOS ANGELES — A flurry of legendary thrash bands returned to their original form today after guitarist Dave Mustaine signed a contract to rejoin Metallica…
SAN FRANCISCO — A select group of lucky fans backstage after an Anthrax show last night were ultimately disappointed to learn that Scott Ian’s goatee…
LOS ANGELES — Reality TV star and occasional musician Bret Michaels announced earlier today that he will be performing the 2007 season of his hit…
YPSILANTI, Mich. — Local man Toby Campbell was humiliated last night by accidentally wearing a thrash metal shirt to a doom metal show, according to…
BERLIN — German Chancellor Angela Merkel signed a controversial bill into law today, no longer requiring the government-funded Gesetzliche Krankenversicherung insurance system to cover sex…
DENVER — Portland-based funeral/doom band Bell Witch are reportedly still playing the first show of their 2017 tour several years after their allotted 45-minute set,…
SAN FRANCISCO — Local metalhead Eddie “Pitch Black” Keil is worried today that his color blindness may have led him to purchase the wrong Baroness…
CHICAGO — Attendees of this year’s Prog-A-Thon Talent Metal Festival were confused to see Dream Theater drummer Mike Portnoy playing on a separate, much bigger…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Mayhem cover band Freezing Moon were found dead only a day before they were supposed to headline a local black metal festival,…
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local metalhead Ron Stevens announced today that an old Dokken T-shirt will be headlining his upcoming Goodwill donation box, excited sources…
DENVER — A song by local fantasy metal band Ölüm is reportedly not even close to being over, despite entering its sixth minute a few…
