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Grandma to Offer Chicken as Vegan Option

CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Local grandmother Dolores McComb is offering chicken as the “cruelty-free” option for tonight’s homemade meal, according to sources dreading the dinner. McComb…

Straight Edge Glassblower Has No Idea What to Make

DENVER — Straight edge artist Don Springer has completely exhausted ideas for his newfound glassblowing skills after finishing a single clumsy-looking glass letter ‘X,’ sources in the…

Misguided Activist Frees Gluten

FORT WORTH, Texas – A local anarchist stole and destroyed several pounds of gluten at an industrial bakery yesterday in a misguided, good-faith effort to…