Last Couple Hours of Acid Trip Spent Doing Laundry
PHILADELPHIA — Local man Ollie Pendleton spent the last stretch of his 10-hour LSD trip doing laundry, pragmatic sources confirmed.…
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Billy Patterson
23 stories found
Annoying Uber Driver Makes Passenger Acknowledge His Existence
RICHMOND, Va. — A local Uber driver’s attempt at small talk forced an unsuspecting passenger to acknowledge his humanity, aggravated…
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Classic Rock DJ Hastily Throws on ‘In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida’ Before Unwrapping Burrito
ALTOONA, Pa. — Local radio DJ Danny “Mustang” McGibbon quickly pressed play on Iron Butterfly’s classic 17-minute-long rock song “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida”…
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Grandpa Opening Up to Family for First Time Written Off as Senile
GREER, S.C. — Local grandfather Lawrence Bookbinder’s family determined that his recent habit of expressing his thoughts and feelings must…
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Aging Couple Worries They Have Nothing Left To Talk About on Podcast
MUNCIE, Ind. — After 11 years together, local married couple Sam and Elizabeth Kramer are worried that they no longer…
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Environmentally Conscious Man Gives Up Drinking Water to Counteract His Rampant AI Usage
BETHESDA, Md. — Local conservationist Martin Sinclair vowed to stop drinking water in order to offset the environmental impact of…
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Hungover Man Searches Through Targeted Ads to Figure Out What He Did Last Night
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Local man Greg Fitzwater began scrolling through his targeted ads to try to piece together what happened…
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Dad Buys Daughter Record Player So Boxes of Old Records Will Be Her Problem
HAGERSTOWN, Md. — Local father Ron Merchant bought his daughter a record player so that the family’s hundreds of old…
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Guy Who Peaked in College Mercilessly Ridicules Guy Who Peaked in High School
LEWISBURG, Pa. – 31-year-old Cole Geleski, who readily admits that his college years were the best time of his life,…
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Younger Sister Wearing Hand-Me-Downs Guesses She’s Goth Too Now
ANN ARBOR, Mich. – Local teenager Valerie Booth reluctantly made the choice to be goth after reviewing her wardrobe consisting…
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