Aging Goth Couple Barely Scare Each Other Anymore
PEORIA, Ill. — Each waiting behind a corner to frighten the other the moment either of them rounds it, aging…
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Skyler Hanrath
17 stories found
TSA Agent Pats Down Family at End of Long Workday
DALLAS — Arriving home after a strenuous 12-hour shift at the Dallas Fort Worth International Airport, Transportation Security Administration agent…
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Band Forecasts Thick Layer of Mid-Set Stage Fog
MINNEAPOLIS — Local band HorseLord forecasted a surprise front of thick stage fog rolling in around the middle of their…
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Nunchuck Owner Just Itching for Reason to Nunchuck Something
BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — Local nunchuck owner Rob Langford was reportedly just itching for a reason to nunchuck something while testing…
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Cheryl Hines Worries RFK Jr. Not the Collection of Neuroses, Dangerous Conspiratorial Thoughts She Married
WASHINGTON — Comedian and actor Cheryl Hines nervously worried that her husband, Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F.…
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Firefighter Goes to Town on Punching Bag He Taped Photo of Fire To
AKRON, Ohio — Letting out a series of strained, angry grunts, local firefighter Dean Portney absolutely went to town on…
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Thoughtful Gym-Goer Wipes Equipment Down Until Nothing Left
LANSING, Mich. — After wrapping up a set of press exercises, local gym-goer Dan Chambers set to work wiping away…
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Murderer Annoyed To See News Stories Call Grave He Dug ‘Shallow’
LANSING, Mich. — Local murderer Larry Vance let out an annoyed sigh at a number of news stories’ description of…
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Casino Throws Out Old Money at End of Day
RENO, Nev. — Scrunching her nose while emptying sacks of old cash into the Pepperball Casino’s bins, Blackjack dealer Marie…
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DUI Forces Man To Commute via Piggyback
DES MOINES, Iowa — Local man Jerry Servin dismounted from the back of Harold Orozco upon returning from work, just…
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