RENO, Nev. — Scrunching her nose while emptying sacks of old cash into the Pepperball Casino’s bins, Blackjack dealer Marie Newman did her best to steer clear of nasty splashback, confirmed sources.
“Every day here starts with fresh cash. It’s the lifeblood of a casino. But, like anything fresh, cash has a shelf life,” explained Newman, whose years of dealing cards have well-acquainted her with physical money’s delicacy. “By the end of the day, it can stink something fierce. You don’t want a noseful of rank Benjamins, you’ll be gagging for a week. So, yes, we throw out the money once it’s crossed a certain scent threshold. Honestly, if you’re hanging onto old money yourself, you’re a little disgusting.”
While many think of cash as a stable, even desirable commodity, its decline is not pretty.
“When I play, I like to be surrounded by stacks of cash. But of course, as a gambler, you’re often down. Now, that sounds bad, but the later in the day it gets, it can be a blessing, at least on the nostrils,” noted Creed Foster, a player at The Pepperball. “Money’s like fish—you want it new. ‘Course, I’ll take yours if it’s old, but not without a thorough Febrezing.”
While casinos are reputed to be money-making ventures, that the money itself is given to turning poses challenges for casino owners.
“This is a class place we run here. We want people coming in, enjoying themselves, and that requires a lot of moving parts—the drinks keep flowing, the music keeps playing, and our players keep playing. But they won’t keep playing if they’re choking on stank bills, you know?” explained Anthony DiMello, The Pepperball’s GM. “Quarters go through a million hands, and each leaves its nasty trace. And cash is made of fibers. Over a day, they trap the hot dog grease you doused your hand in, they trap the sweat you wiped on yourself—it all adds up to one thing: stink. If we could be cashless, our guests’ olfactories wouldn’t say no. But, no cash would cut our customer base, so for now, it’s fresh money in the beginning of the day, disgusting old money out at the end.”
At press time, hundreds of gamblers were seen running for the exits, as one player dropped a billfold containing tens of dollars that had been printed all the way back in 2008, thoroughly stinking up the place.
