HOUSTON — Local 68-year-old Harry Wilson is reportedly about to fire off another sternly worded email to [email protected] to complain about the store’s lackluster service, and supposed deals, embarrassed family members confirmed.
“These assholes simply refuse to listen, so I let them have it” Harry grumbled, pointing to a stack of printed emails he has sent to [email protected] over the past decade. “I fondly remember cussing out employees in person before the computer age made everyone a snowflake. I’m guessing ‘cancel culture’ also means I can’t call out a bogus BOGO deal when they see it. I’ve written multiple letters to my state representative as well, and I’m going to get this whole damn operation shut down.”
Home Depot Customer Service agent Eliza McCaskel, who he directly blamed for “a total bullshit lawnmower sale run by Obama voters” several years ago was the first to discover the expletive-laden emails.
“More often than not, we’d find ourselves quoting him or searching for ways to shoehorn his catchphrase ‘the goddamn rake’ into any conversation we have around the office,” McCaskel chuckled. “For Halloween, the office dressed like what we thought he’d look like in person, but the real winner was Gary, who wore a poster board of Harry’s LinkedIn profile after pulling extensive online research regarding our muse”.
Sociologist Wayne Provost, Ph. D., author of “Beyond The Lead Paint: Making Room for The Baby Boom,” has seen many cases such as Mr. Wilson’s in the past and addresses a few of their common issues in his book.
“Many Boomers have a sense of entitlement that has never been seen in any previous or subsequent generation, no matter how aggressively wrong they are,” said Provost. “With many boomers thinking the ‘customer is always right’, they’ve developed an attitude that firmly plants them in the center of the universe. Yes, the same generation that will claim previous generations are getting ‘participation trophies’ believe they deserve special treatment no matter how awful they’ll treat others.”
At press time, Wilson cut the interview short by noting he’s been on hold with the Publisher’s Clearing House Prize Patrol for the past hour.