Matt Husser
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WASHINGTON — Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. today announced his self-appointment as the department's first Head of Human Centipede,…
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Steve Packosky
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PITTSBURGH — Crust punk Hugh McVeely attempted to claim his pubic lice as dependents while filing his taxes, repulsed sources…
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Doug Kolic
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KANSAS CITY, Mo. — The Hallmark Channel announced a new meet-cute release that will be set in a sleepy New…
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Patrick Crooks
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MAR-A-LAGO, Fla. — While attending an event at the president's Mar-a-Lago estate, Miriam Miller, mother of senior Trump advisor, Stephen…
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Rob Steinberg
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FITCHBURG, Ariz. — A small town took extreme pride in the success of local band Okay Jerry despite the group…
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John Adkins
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ASHEVILLE , N.C. — Guinness World Records announced that performative male and “writer” Sky Winslow broke the world record for…
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Ben Friedman
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ROCHESTER, Minn. — Wife of local grindcore guitarist Denise Sadler was growing increasingly annoyed with her husband as he spent…
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Ben Friedman
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WASHINGTON — Far right think tank the Heritage Foundation announced part of its Project 2026 family initiatives, unveiling a massive…
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Ben Sobieck
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LOVELAND, Colo. — A groundbreaking study released just in time for Valentine’s Day showed that shooting people with arrows does…
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Tim Sheard
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WASHINGTON — Vice President JD Vance mistakenly gifted his wife Usha Vance a Valentine’s Day card that was meant for…
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