HOLDREDGE, Neb. — Local teen Marissa Jenson is still dutifully waiting for her much older boyfriend to return home after leaving town to defend pop…
CULVER CITY, Calif. — “Wheel of Fortune” contestant and local punk Bruce Hughes inadvertently challenged the game rules after asking to bum a vowel, exasperated…
CRESCENT CITY, Calif. — A highly sought after stick-and-poke tattoo artist at the notorious Pelican Bay State Prison revealed to fellow inmates that he is…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Decemberists lead singer Colin Meloy brought recording to a halt and began frantically asking band members if they could also see the…
The memories of Christmases of my youth never fail to fill my heart. Sure the gifts were great, but the look on my parents’ faces…
Christmas is the one time of year family can come together and celebrate what truly matters: being beleaguered by extended family. My aunt, who is…
ST. PAUL, Minn. — Local police officer Brad Chapman allegedly planted a pot brownie at an elementary school’s bake sale, which was competing against his…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Kyle Shillington was seen canvassing his neighborhood in hopes of confirming that a feral cat who bit him survived the ordeal,…
LOS ANGELES — The Hallmark Channel announced that their slate of upcoming holiday movies will be their most enticing yet with ten times more storylines…
WEST ORANGE, N.J. — Local mother Helen McGuire allowed her sons to borrow her van so their band Uncle Punch could take it out on…
TORONTO — A recent Tegan and Sara show was allegedly sabotaged by their mischievous doppelgangers WaTegan and SaraLuigi, event coordinators reported. “They think they’re so…
PARAMUS, N.J. — Local man Mike Jarbowski finally decided to seek medical treatment for the twisted, demonic face growing out his back after weeks dealing…
SAN DIEGO — Aging millennial Tim Baxter announced that he fell in love with a girl at a much less expensive rock show after being…
Let’s get straight to the facts: strong, empowered women are incredible. From Kathleen Hannah to Michelle Obama to pretty much any roller derby player there…
Some say that I run a little hot-blooded, that I’m too quick to break a beer bottle over someone’s head before thinking things through. Those…