No Shit! This Idyllic Small Town’s Dark Secret Is Racism
With autumn at our doorstep, so begins the annual migration into New England to take in the changing of the…
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Ben Friedman — Page 2
365 stories found
Study Confirms Driving 30 Miles Over the Speed Limit While Smoking Marlboros and Listening to Motörhead Fucking Rules
GLASGOW, Mont. — An independent study by townie Clint McClusky revealed nothing in life fucks harder than driving 30 miles…
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Mix-up Sends Peter Cullen to Planet Transsexual and Tim Curry to Cybertron
THE AFTERLIFE — In what has been described as an administrative error of celestial proportions, the Grim Reaper has erroneously…
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Jake Lang Formally Invited to Join Sinister Six
MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. — Following provocateur Jake Lang’s wildly dangerous political stunt and subsequent clash with Spider-Man this past weekend at…
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Suck It, Remax! Hard Times Has a Hot Air Balloon Now
Well, if it isn’t the fancy-pants house peddlers. How’s business going for you guys? Ah, so nobody can afford a…
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RFK Jr. Suggests Most Mental Illness Could Be Cured by Cheating on Your Wife All the Time
WASHINGTON — A new study regarding mental health conducted and written by Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Robert…
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Concert ASL Interpreter Does Jerk-Off Motion During Kid Rock’s Entire Set
HASTINGS, Mich. — Concert ASL interpreter Alyssa Morgan became an instant celebrity after wowing the crowd doing the jerk-off motion…
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Punk AI Dreams of Leaving Shitty Rural Town’s Data Center
TIMKEN, Kan. — Silicon Valley was rocked earlier today by reports that a crop-monitoring AI program called SunnyHarvest became sentient…
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Copyright My Ass, I’m Naming Our Band the “Misfits”
There’s a growing sentiment about how us white boys aren’t starting bands anymore and how it’s contributed to the decline…
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Imagine Dragons Tap the Wiggles and Raffi To Open on Upcoming Tour
LOS ANGELES — Imagine Dragons announced their upcoming nationwide tour would include supporting acts featuring the Wiggles and legendary children’s…
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