NEW YORK — Tempers flared at city hall today as both sides made their opinions known about the potential addition of a giant glowing ramp…
BOSTON — Resolving to himself that things in his life would be exactly the same as they used to be from now on, local man…
SIOUX FALLS, S.D. — Respectfully ignoring the opportunity to press the X button and skip the entire sequence, local gamer Louis Moore reportedly sat through…
AKRON, Ohio — Podcaster Briana Giraud spent a full two hours setting up and testing her $2,000 audio rig in preparation for a casual Zoom…
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Responding to criticism over his planned $1,400 stimulus check, President-elect Joe Biden clarified that a full $2,000 version would be coming to…
NEW YORK — Local gamer Jared Kalashnik reportedly told friends today that he just cannot understand the appeal of Pokémon Snap, despite taking over 4,000…
WASHINGTON — President Donald J. Trump has peacefully vacated the White House after following a trail of Diet Coke bottles that appeared overnight, multiple anonymous…
WARSAW — Executives at CD Projekt Red breathed a sigh of relief as the disastrous launch of Cyberpunk 2077 dropped to the second-worst rollout of…
WASHINGTON — A nation on the brink of collapse took a few moments today to universally agree that Timothy Olyphant is a charismatic actor. “Oh…
I will tell you all a secret about one of the struggles I face when writing these columns up: whenever someone’s comment is really funny,…
POUGHKEEPSIE, N.Y. — Aspiring PS5 owner John Blatzby has reportedly found some consistency in Sony’s seemingly random PS5 drops, claiming the company always schedules a…
GREAT NECK, N.Y. — Plumber, adventurer, and class of 1985 graduate Mario Mario reportedly confused the majority of his graduating class as he told old…
Fellow citizens, let me ask you a question: how many bananas do you have in your possession right now? Do you feel that you have…
Edited and narrated by Peter Kemme.
SPOKANE, Wash. — Discord user Michael McNeil drew the ire of a Mario fan server after failing to use spoiler tags when revealing that Princess…