VENTURA, Cali. — In what experts are calling the first confirmed case of canine technological displacement, viral skateboarding dog Brutus…
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There are two very different reasons a person might find themselves alone at midnight, noise-cancelling headphones on, staring out their…
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GALLATIN, Tenn. — Local 23-year-old guitarist Brandon Hanish stunned his bandmates this week when he announced, unprompted, that he does…
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ORLANDO, Fla. — Local metal band Grave Mistake issued an ultimatum Tuesday after their lead guitarist Jackson Hollister has been…
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DES MOINES, Iowa — Legendary Iowa metal band Slipknot confirmed Monday that it is being forced to relinquish three of…
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DENVER — Despite living in a fully legal state, having no roommates, and being gifted a climate-controlled humidor for his…
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KENILWORTH, Ill. — Local metalhead Travis Garnette was dejected after failing to scare unsuspecting suburbanites while wandering around Lovelace Park…
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You know what’s truly pathetic? The crowds of trust-fund influencers desperately trying to get a bartender's attention, only to drop…
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LINKÖPING, Sweden — An American punk backpacking through Europe reportedly refused to learn simple key phrases for the countries he…
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NAPERVILLE, Ill. — Major companies are reportedly scrambling to come up with workplace perks that can rival masturbating freely in…
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