In the quiet aftermath of loss, when the world seems to grind to a halt and grief hangs heavy in the air, there’s a stark,…
Remember the good ol’ days of the early 2000s, when we were blissfully ignorant of social media and the internet was barely out of its…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Experts warned that if re-elected, former President Trump’s stringent border policies could prevent thousands of Canadian girlfriends from making it to American…
NAPERVILLE, Ill. — Local man Brian Langley, who often proclaims he “likes all music except country and rap,” is reportedly feeling vindicated after assault allegations…
VeggieTales has always been a beacon of moral lessons and ethical Christian teachings, but what if these characters went off the deep end? A dark…
Ah, the ’90s—flannel shirts, grunge music, and the unmistakable voice of Kurt Cobain. But while the world has never quite let go of Nirvana’s frontman,…
LOUISVILLE, Ky.. — Guests at local man Ricky Ellis’ house party endured an agonizing 30-minute wait for eccentric cocktails from their overenthusiastic host who has…
PITTSBURGH — Local man Greg Walters reportedly found the answer to all of life’s problems and challenges in the form of a non-running 1985 Ford…
CHICAGO — Longtime fans of The Smashing Pumpkins are reportedly shocked and infuriated that the band’s latest release, “Aghori Mhori Mei,” is actually pretty darn…
In a world where everyone claims to be triggered and everyone is offended by something, it’s clear that the glorious, unfiltered masterpiece that the 2024…
Filmmaker John Hughes gifted us with a cinematic tapestry where children, teens, and adults navigated the tumultuous waters of school, careers, love, family, and self-discovery.…
You know, folks, there’s a question that keeps me up at night, and I think it’s time we all start asking it out loud. What…
BALTIMORE, Md. — 23-year-old Olympic champion Erica Webb’s triumphant return home was filled with fanfare and excitement as she can’t wait to pawn her newly-won…
CLEARWATER, Fla. — Local metalhead Rickey Ray Reynolds asked officers if he could change into his favorite Morbid Angel t-shirt before his mugshot was taken…
Threads Users Hearing Rumors That Biden Is Considering Dropping Out of Presidential Race
SAN FRANCISCO — Users on the social media platform Threads were recently abuzz with news that President Joe Biden might be considering dropping out of…