BOSTON — General Electric introduced their “early discharge” microwave oven technology today, which is expected to improve user experience by stopping a cooking sequence one…
Hate your dingy office? Your soul-crushing job? That asshole of a boss? Of course you do! Everyone does. But what if the dingy office was…
PALO ALTO, Calif. — Local man Seth Richardson stunned friends and colleagues earlier this week when he announced in a 600-word Facebook post that, after…
Friends are arguably just as, if not more, important than family. A bond thicker than blood. They’re there for us during the best and worst…
TOWSON, Md. — Noted anarchist and father Conor “Red” Hampton spent a wholesome afternoon yesterday teaching his 12-year-old son Dennis the ideal technique for throwing…
MYRTLE BEACH, S.C. — Your younger cousin Blake Liston-Schneider confirmed moments ago that he has some “dank nugs” if you’re interested in smoking any during…
HARRISONBURG, Va. — Local punk and obvious alcoholic Marcia Fries announced moments ago that despite consuming nearly a dozen cans of Pabst Blue Ribbon beer…
MISSOULA, Mont. — Democratic Presidential candidate Bernie Sanders gave several members of the Missoula DIY scene last night freehand tattoos in the kitchen of a…
NORFOLK, Va. — The .org URL used by Norfolk DIY venue The Kirk Skramz-eron Center for Music and Culture blatantly misrepresents the level of organization…
CHICAGO — Friends and family of local “all-around artist” Will Bell braced themselves today after Bell posted a cryptic message on Facebook claiming he had…
PHOENIX — Local 30-year-old Arun Sharma tested today whether or not he can use expletives in front of his parents, as he’s still unsure if…
Poetic Justice: This Guitar Center Employee Just Sat in My House and Played With a Blender Then Left
Poetic Justice: This Guitar Center Employee Just Sat in My House and Played With a Blender Then Left
I wish I could take it back. I wish I had never set foot into that Guitar Center just before close and played guitar until…
PITTSBURGH — A local film club consisting entirely of goths announced today that their next event will feature a screening of the 1994 film “The…
GAINESVILLE, Fla. — Local punk Hazel Mason ate her entire three-day supply of weed earlier today while standing in line to enter The Fest, trying…
Dear Scabby: My boyfriend is a total shithead. Habitual liar and addicted to pain killers. The problem is we’re both starving artists and I need…
