BOSTON — Recent Northeastern University alumni James Gillen is aggressively spreading awareness of the atrocities committed by Christopher Columbus to his friends, confirmed sources who…
PIGEON FORGE, Tenn. — Local mother Julia Smith assumes that her completely asexual daughter Andrea is actually a lesbian who has yet to find the…
BOSTON — A new documentary about the city’s notoriously tough hardcore scene is mostly 90 minutes of incriminating evidence, multiple law enforcement officers confirm. “I…
EUREKA, Calif. — A squirrel rapidly burying nuts in the ground in preparation for the winter is now better prepared for retirement than one local…
LOS ANGELES — Stardust Diner, the latest 1950s style diner to open in Burbank, reportedly glosses over some key facts and historical realities, sources who…
FALL RIVER, Mass. — A centuries-old apparition roaming the innards of an 1800’s New England heritage property “must be someone else’s friend,” reports every one…
RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Local woman Missy Frazier is sick of being the only one of her roommates with enough common decency to steal toilet paper…
CLARKSBURG, W. Va. — Hopeless romantic Stevie Knightson recently imploded his entire social life by profusely expressing his longtime admiration for pal Irene Debcott, ashamed…
PHILADELPHIA — Local punk Brian Hedges figured he’s still got a good 10 years to continually disappoint his parents with his life choices, his friends,…
As a civil-minded person, I take a lot of pride in doing my part to keep people safe. When my coworkers started going to Killigan’s…
NEW YORK — Local man and person exploring his kinks for the first time in his life, Jaden Brantz, reported that he was incredibly disappointed…
BOSTON — Local freelance writer Brittany Gates credits her financial success as a freelance writer to the full-time day job that she doesn’t tell anybody…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local punk Lenny Hanna is reportedly attempting to rent out a room in his flop-house by telling tenants they may eventually be…
SALT LAKE CITY – A long-forgotten, years-old container of Great Value black pepper was recently unearthed in the pantry of a two-bedroom apartment, pleasantly surprised…
PERTH AMBOY, N.J. — Friends and family of local punk Ricky Ballstead report he is aging “like a fine PBR” and very much proud about…