BERKELEY, Calif. — A popular local hacky-sack circle broke late yesterday afternoon up over key creative disagreements among its many members, sources report. “I’ve loved…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local man Rick Anderson remains ignorant to the fact that the generous beer donations he makes to his neighbors’ basement shows…
PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Accountant Keith Lowell has the suffix “guitar” at the end of his Instagram handle despite showing no signs nor evidence of having…
DENVER — Local man and vegan of two months Gabe Rumsey voiced his delight over the abundance of tasteless, processed plant-based options being unveiled at…
LOS ANGELES – Legendary guitar manufacturer Fender announced their new Sid Vicious Signature Classic bass guitar which will feature a rosewood fretboard, vintage sculpted rear…
WEST NEWTON, Mass. — 28 year old Jim Sylvia’s deep dive into Townes Van Zandt’s catalog has become a cause of concern for his girlfriend,…
NEW BRUNSWICK, N.J. — Fans of The Gaslight Anthem were disappointed to learn that the band’s long-awaited reunion tour will be postponed until the band…
IRVINE, Calif. — Doctor Lazlo Thesiger, a research scientist at Taco Bell’s Insights Lab, has resorted to unnatural and dark methods to achieve his obsessive…
OMAHA, Neb. — Local personal trainer Chance “Hard Knock” Turner has been seen tearing across town in defiance of myriad traffic laws, solidifying his reputation…
BALTIMORE, Md. — Local showgoers were shocked and dismayed after witnessing punk band, The Baby Hitlers, vanish completely during their performance moments ago, according to…
CHARLOTTE N.C. — 35-year-old punk stock trader “Big” Tim Treadwell jumped out of a speeding van’s window yesterday after receiving bad news about his portfolio…
BROOKLYN, N.Y. — Local man Allen McGuire noticed late yesterday afternoon that the sex doll he ordered online beared a striking resemblance to rock n’…
RENO, Nev. — Local boyfriend Zach Dornan planned a romantic evening out for him and his girlfriend Lizzie Hart at his friend Brett Baum’s house,…
BOSTON — The lead singer of local indie band Electric Ice Cubes admitted to being confused and “in awe” as to how the lights in…
BALTIMORE — Local ungrateful son Jacob Atwal ignored what became one of many concerned texts from his mother until he was done sifting through PornHub,…