TOPEKA, Kan. — Local punk Ryan Brewer was doomed Thursday night to wander the earth as a merch guy until he can find a replacement…
ROUND ROCK, Texas — Interactive storytelling fans were disappointed this week by a new choose-your-own-adventure novel that promised the opportunity to see through the eyes…
For years, it seemed like most bands comprised a bunch of straight, white, cisgendered men. Boriiiiiiing! In 2019, we’re starting to break away from that…
SAN JOSE, Calif. — Local punks Simone Marek and Kris Hagen announced today that they have secured “A” round funding to launch TatWell, a startup…
Dear Scabby: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a little over a year now and he’s wondering why I won’t introduce him to my parents.…
MOORE, Okla. — Local drummer Henry Cortez confirmed last night that he “totally knows” what sex is, and only asked a series of misguided questions…
I don’t drink, smoke, or go on the Internet and look at naked people. But I’ve got one addiction: Christian music. Whether I’m swaying along…
LANDSDALE, Pa. — A guitar in the care of local musician Andrew Sampson is treated with more respect and dignity than Sampson’s own body, multiple…
SOUTH BEND, Ind. — The Scott family is paying tribute to Wrigley, their former family dog and long-deceased canine, by keeping his name alive within…
LONDON — Legendary Led Zeppelin guitarist Jimmy Page is releasing his “totally original” and “not-at-all stolen” life story this month, entitled Black Mamba Voodoo Jive…
One unfortunate part of being a fan of older music is that some of it has aged rather poorly. Certain songs that were totally acceptable…
SALOME, Ariz. — A solitary box of floss given to local man Ed Walters nearly 20 years ago is also his lifetime supply of floss,…
LOS ANGELES — In an effort to bolster declining viewership, the six-time Super Bowl-winning New England Patriots will perform during the Grammy Awards’ halftime show…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Chronically unemployed man and frequent HPV spreader Danny Feldman is completely unaware that his last three girlfriends all consider dating him to…
Instagram Witch Burned in Comments
SEATTLE — Self-identified witch Kay Clark was “burned” in the comments under several of her recent Instagram posts in the past week, a visibly shaken…