Nick Brandt
•
April 18, 2026
AUSTIN, Texas — Tesla Inc. is reportedly manufacturing their vehicles to drive intentionally in motorists’ field-of-view blind spots, confirmed frustrated…
Read More →
Kevin Coutu
•
April 17, 2026
PORTLAND, Ore. — Local mother Erin Walsh sat her young son down for a quiet, heartfelt conversation about growing up…
Read More →
Skyler Hanrath
•
April 17, 2026
PORTLAND, Ore. — Prospective job candidate Colin Hartnell artfully tucked his lustrous rattail beneath his shirt collar before his first…
Read More →
Kevin Coutu
•
April 15, 2026
CLICHY, France — Cosmetics giant L’Oreal revealed that it will begin testing its makeup on only the hideous rabbits that…
Read More →
Patrick Coyne
•
April 15, 2026
CLEVELAND — Friend of local polycule Devin Dietrich admitted to feeling “left out” during platonic activities that don’t require seven…
Read More →
Patrick Crooks
•
April 13, 2026
SEATTLE — Longtime resident of the self-styled “Vanguard of the Proletarian Bohemian Collective” Adam Stewart admitted that he was in…
Read More →
Doug Kolic
•
April 13, 2026
KALAMAZOO, Mich. — Local 55-year-old nerd finally decided to heed the lame warnings of his beloved family and respected medical…
Read More →
Doug Kolic
•
April 13, 2026
MENLO PARK, Calif. — Tech CEO Mark Zuckerberg is reportedly lingering around the Meta campus in the hopes someone will…
Read More →
Kevin Coutu
•
April 12, 2026
BERKELEY, Calif. — Researchers at UC Berkeley announced they had built the first sex robot with the capacity to feel…
Read More →
Skyler Hanrath
•
April 11, 2026
HOUSTON — Local man Lou Marling assured himself that his years of failure could be played off as no more…
Read More →
