NEW YORK — Producers of the long-running children’s program “Sesame Street” resorted to accepting sponsorship from popular male wellness brand Hims in the wake of…
NASHVILLE — Local good samaritan Marvin Bell reportedly made bystanders uncomfortable today after he zipped up a stranger’s fly for him, weirded out sources reported.…
NEW YORK — Beloved children’s author R.L. Stine was wondering if he should alienate a large swath of people who grew up reading his books…
DAVENPORT, Iowa — Local Submissive Seventh fan and total dweeb Derek Maldonado reportedly threw away any remaining ounce of self-respect he had after asking the…
BUSHWICK, N.Y. — Bushwick child Avery Bridgerton reportedly acted quite cagey when questioned on the playground about how they could afford their Barbie Dreamhouse, confirmed…
NASHVILLE, Tenn. — Health officials working the medical tent at the popular Living Flesh Music Festival have confirmed reports of a full-blown outbreak of Dry…
WASHINGTON — Vice President JD Vance was reportedly left sitting on the curb for several hours today after President Trump forgot to pick him up…
CORTLAND, N.Y. — Local forklift driver Kenny Avalon couldn’t resist the urge to show you a Facebook video of a bunch of guys playing Metallica’s…
MOAB, Utah — Local sociopath and murder enthusiast Greg Allen Hargrove reportedly left his favorite blade casually hanging over the side of the sink Tuesday…
LOUISVILLE, Ky. — Second Amendment enthusiast Greg Browner reportedly sprang into action today after the advice “only a good guy with a gun can stop…
SAN FRANCISCO — Leftist software engineer Connor Newburg vocally expressed wishing that he could travel back in time to kill baby MechaHitler, the name that…
PHILADELPHIA — University of Pennsylvania graduate Nathan Swain says he’s been inundated with calls from recruiters since completing his degree in prison architecture, jealous sources…
PORTLAND, Maine — Cardiac surgeon and punk rocker Dr. David “Cutter” Peters mistakenly left a pack of cigarettes inside patient Dwight Holcomb during a heart…
FORT MYERS, Fla. — Up and coming MAGA rapper Shilla Flo found his career reaching new heights after sexual harassment accusations from multiple women were…
TRENTON, N.J. — Local virtual dominatrix Vixen Velvetlash was caught on Zoom wearing pants, shocking the BDSM community, confirmed disappointed sources. “I feel violated and…