NEW YORK — Nominally cisgender/heterosexual individuals with amusingly low alcohol tolerances, colloquially known as “two-beer queers,” are advocating for their place within the greater LGBTQ+…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. – Local crisis actor Alex Perkins expressed his desire to burst out from his creative cocoon and start directing false flag conspiracies, confirmed…
LOS ANGELES — Grindcore frontwoman and recent gynecological patient Lexi Tyler discovered her never-before-heard guttural vocal abilities during an IUD insertion procedure earlier this month,…
COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo, — Local landlord Montgomery Hawthorne Jr. found a way to give back to his financially struggling residents by providing easy access to…
PUNXSUTAWNEY, Penn. — Local leftist, and amateur craftsman, Flint Cropwell admits to harboring a burning hatred for people who espouse conservative ideals, unless they make…
The powers that be have decided it’s time for even more Aughts nostalgia, that magical time of Ed Hardy shirts, butt rock, and Paris Hilton.…
CRANSTON, R.I. – Elder millennial and lifelong pop punk fan Trent Wilshire relived his early teen years by pleasuring himself to completion with only the…
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local freelance videographer, and part-time ambient music composer, Cooper Mills is intensely contemplating the potential thematic and philosophical focus of his…
PITTSBURGH – A prototype driverless car, manufactured by local technology start-up High Drive, crashed into a telephone pole and was issued a DUI on its…
LOS ANGELES — “Avatar: The Way of Water” director James Cameron doubled down on his criticism of fans complaining about the film’s runtime stating that…
WASHINGTON — The new national suicide hotline, 988, is facing harsh criticism after callers noticed the platform used songs from massively depressing singer/songwriter Elliott Smith…
MONTREAL – President, CEO, and co-founder of Gildan Athletic Wear, Glenn Chamandy, recently made the controversial decision to include a third extra scratchy tag to…
MUNCIE, Ind. — Romantic partners Louise Keller and Ty Walsh announced that they are breaking up after Walsh shaved his beard and Keller cut her…
PENSACOLA, Fla. – Local dentist Noah Dunaway expressed utter disgust recently after examining what long-time punk patient Skyler Thompson kept referring to as his “good”…
ASHEVILLE, N.C. — Local dog owner Zachary Townsend reportedly couldn’t help but notice how well behaved the unleashed dog he spotted wandering alongside a homeless…