Private Equity Firm Buys Rainbows
NEW YORK — Local private equity firm Kohlberg Kravis & Roberts announced today that they have officially acquired the rights,…
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Jesse Kubanet
15 stories found
Make-A-Wish Kid Spends Bulk of Pittsburgh Steelers Visit Being Lectured by Aaron Rodgers About Chemtrails
PITTSBURGH — Local Make-A-Wish kid Dalton Kelley unfortunately spent the vast majority of his visit to Steelers camp being lectured…
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Well, I Did It, I Got a Text From Every Democrat
A lot of people said it couldn’t be done. That there are too many Democrats; too many congressional races. There…
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Man With Free Moment of Peace Decides To Ruin It By Scrolling X
CLEVELAND — Local man Johnathan Maxwell was enjoying an unseasonably beautiful day in Lincoln Park before he decided to completely…
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Winner of Next ‘Survivor’ Season Gets To Stay on Island Away From America
FIJI — CBS’s next season of “Survivor” will award the winner with $1 million and the opportunity to remain in…
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Career Tip: You Can Just Say You’re an Actor on CBS’s ‘Marshals’ and No One Will Know
“I have a three-episode romance arc coming up with Stephanie this season,” I tell my aunt at our Mother’s Day…
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Song of the Summer: The CNN Breaking News Alert
After Memorial Day Weekend, there is no doubt that the Song of the Summer is The CNN Breaking News Alert. …
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Kid Rock Sees His Shadow on Memorial Day Signaling Six More Weeks of War
PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. — Musician and frequent Black Hawk helicopter ride recipient Kid Rock saw his shadow today, signaling six more…
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Study Finds America’s New Retirement Age Is Death
NEW YORK — A recent study that analyzed the latest Census data revealed that America’s new retirement age is death,…
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My Name Is Spam Risk, And No One Will Answer My Calls
Another day, another goose egg on the old meetings tracker. I’m beginning to think I’ve gotten into the wrong profession…
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