McDonald’s Debuts Clearance Menu
CHICAGO — McDonald’s rolled out a new McClearance Menu to all 14,000 corporate and franchise locations in the United States,…
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Ben Sobieck
32 stories found
Katie Zacharia Fired Just as Soon as She Finishes Reading Her Termination Letter
WASHINGTON — Embattled White House Press Secretary Katie Zacharia has been fired following a disastrous debut, according to everyone except…
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Stephen Miller Googles “Temu Return Policy” After Disastrous Outing for New Press Secretary
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following a widely panned debut by Katie Zacharia as the new White House press secretary, special advisor…
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‘What’s Happening Is Catastrophic and Unjustifiable,’ – Ed Sheeran Finally Breaks Silence About Ticket Sales
BOSTON — Ed Sheeran finally broke his silence to address the controversy surrounding his embattled 2026 tour following his supporting…
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Shrinkflation on the Rise: Ticket Now Only Gets You One Duran
LOS ANGELES — The same ticket that used to get fans into a Duran Duran show will now only admit…
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Tupac Murder Trial in Chaos as Tupac Set To Testify
LAS VEGAS — In a shocking turn that has the entire court in a tailspin, prosecutors have announced that Tupac…
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Review: Meta Glasses — Finally, a Cybertruck for My Dumb, Mouth-Breather Face
I always wanted a Cybertruck, but times are tight — my credit score is horrible, and I don’t have a…
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Millennial Struggles To Explain What a DVD-ROM Was
MINNEAPOLIS — Exasperated millennial Mitch Kurtz struggled to define “DVD-ROM,” a piece of portable technology popular in the 2000s, sources…
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Hardcore Version of ‘Surrounded’ Features One Henry Rollins vs. 20 Henry Rollins
NASHVILLE — Henry Rollins will square off with 20 Henry Rollins in the next episode of Jubilee Media’s hit YouTube…
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Last Chick-fil-A Desegregates
HERITAGE, Miss. — Chick-fil-A announced its last restaurant to desegregate has finally done so, sources confirmed. “This brings to an…
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