Opinion: Dogs Keep Shooting People. It’s Time To Regulate Dogs
Well folks, it happened again. There it was, another beautiful sunny Sunday in the park, and the unthinkable happened. Guy…
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Adam Frost-Venrick
56 stories found
Man Who Lived Fast, Died Young Leaves Surprisingly Ugly Corpse
DENVER — Local man Scott Bumstead died this week, following a brief battle with living fast, leaving behind what has…
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Opinion: I’ll Say What We’re All Thinking: It’s Time To Privatize the Fire Department
Greetings peons! The time has come once again for us to talk about the taxpayer’s wasted dollar! As a concerned…
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Quitting Drinking for Attention Leads Man to Relapse for Attention
SANTA FE, N.M. — Local man Jacob Wilmer recently gave up drinking for attention, only to relapse for even more…
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‘I Need To Have Kids to Leave a Legacy,’ Says Man Whose Legacy Will Be DUIs
ZANESVILLE, Ohio — Local Payroll Specialist and office pest Derek Norton decided to prioritize having children as a means of…
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Opinion: When I Said I Wanted No More Division in America, I Meant Get Rid of Math
As a public servant, I am no stranger to minsunderstantiations. Lord knows I’ve had my fair share of them over…
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Oh No! Worst Guy You Know Has Your Exact Taste in Music
Oh yikes and yikes again. In a shocking turn of events, just when you were riding high about to do…
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Opinion: Stop Calling My Online Friends Who Ask Me to Do Violent Things “Feds”
I want to preface this article by saying that I am not normally a very outspoken person. I try to…
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Opinion: You Can Be a Progressive and Still Hunt the Homeless for Sport – Guest Column by Gavin Newsom
My name is Chief Bob’s Big Boy in Charge of Things — Gavin Newsom. I’m writing this op-ed currently and…
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Life Hack: Apparently, You Can Throw Underwear Away if It Gets Too Old
I hear people talk a lot these days about “wellness.” On TikTok, it’s almost impossible not to hear chatter about:…
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