Supposedly Seedy Motel Doesn’t Even Secretly Film Guests Having Sex
SPRINGFIELD, Mo. — A seedy motel off Route 66 proved disappointing for visitors who expected to be spied on in…
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Doug Kolic
129 stories found
Total Lightweight Not Keeping Personal Demons to Himself
ATLANTA — A local weak-ass bitch regularly burdens his friends and family with his personal bullshit after a couple of…
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4D Chess: Trump Prevents Future 9/11’s by Preemptively Destroying Nation
They say the best defence is a good offense. That’s why brave leaders like Donald Trump are always in attack…
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Hegseth to Personally Test Erection Strength of Each Soldier
WASHINGTON — U.S. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced that he is rolling out a new program to ensure that…
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Pope Leo Says No Place for Hate in World Except Towards White Sox Front Office
VATICAN CITY — His Holiness Pope Leo XIV proclaimed that hatred of any kind has no place in God’s Kingdom,…
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U.S. Treasury Announces Trump Money Doubles as Dude Wipes
WASHINGTON — In honor of the 250th anniversary of the United States, the Treasury Department announced that Donald Trump’s signature…
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Boss Who Doesn’t Pay You Enough Wonders Why You Don’t Travel More
SANDY SPRINGS, Ga. — A local marketing manager who pays his employees next to nothing was perplexed as to why…
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RFK Jr. Has Jeans Permanently Fused to Body
WASHINGTON — The United States Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced that his favorite pair…
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Guy Wearing T-Shirt With Blazer Probably Some Kind of Cool Creative Genius
VANCOUVER, British Columbia — A local man who coupled a T-shirt with a blazer must be an absolute creative genius,…
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My Life is Just Like ‘Euphoria’ Except for All the Sex, Drugs, and Friends
I’ve heard of people getting their identities stolen, but what I just experienced takes it to a whole other level.…
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