Fuck Yeah! Staff Allowed to Go Home After Boss Suffers Medical Emergency
PUEBLO, Colo. — Christmas came early for staff at a local tech startup who were allowed to go home early…
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Doug Kolic
131 stories found
FDA Bans Use of Mambo No. 5
SILVER SPRING, Md. — The U.S. Food and Drug Administration announced a countrywide ban on the song “Mambo No.5,” citing…
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Supposedly Seedy Motel Doesn’t Even Secretly Film Guests Having Sex
SPRINGFIELD, Mo. — A seedy motel off Route 66 proved disappointing for visitors who expected to be spied on in…
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Total Lightweight Not Keeping Personal Demons to Himself
ATLANTA — A local weak-ass bitch regularly burdens his friends and family with his personal bullshit after a couple of…
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4D Chess: Trump Prevents Future 9/11’s by Preemptively Destroying Nation
They say the best defence is a good offense. That’s why brave leaders like Donald Trump are always in attack…
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Hegseth to Personally Test Erection Strength of Each Soldier
WASHINGTON — U.S. Secretary of War Pete Hegseth announced that he is rolling out a new program to ensure that…
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Pope Leo Says No Place for Hate in World Except Towards White Sox Front Office
VATICAN CITY — His Holiness Pope Leo XIV proclaimed that hatred of any kind has no place in God’s Kingdom,…
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U.S. Treasury Announces Trump Money Doubles as Dude Wipes
WASHINGTON — In honor of the 250th anniversary of the United States, the Treasury Department announced that Donald Trump’s signature…
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Boss Who Doesn’t Pay You Enough Wonders Why You Don’t Travel More
SANDY SPRINGS, Ga. — A local marketing manager who pays his employees next to nothing was perplexed as to why…
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RFK Jr. Has Jeans Permanently Fused to Body
WASHINGTON — The United States Secretary of Health and Human Services Robert F. Kennedy Jr. announced that his favorite pair…
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