Patrick Coyne, Author at HARDTIMES

April 15, 2026

CLEVELAND — Friend of local polycule Devin Dietrich admitted to feeling “left out” during platonic activities that don’t require seven…

February 23, 2026

LOS ANGELES — Actor William H. Macy insisted that, unlike his “Boogie Nights” costar Mark Wahlberg, had he been aboard…

January 12, 2026

LANGLEY, Va. — The CIA hired Korn frontman Jonathan Davis to teach operatives how to control bullets through scatting following…

January 1, 2026

TULSA, Okla. — The guitar that once belonged to legendary folk musician Woody Guthrie was seized by federal agents and…

November 24, 2025

WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump announced yesterday that he had deployed the National Guard to Roku City, the fictional cityscape…

August 16, 2025

MACON, Ga. — Panic-stricken and barely coherent GWAR roadie Miles Giodarno was spotted dashing through the streets of Macon, desperately…

August 2, 2025

Most people will tell you Disney magic is something you only see in movies or after an unlicensed mushroom retreat.…

July 12, 2025

MOAB, Utah — Local sociopath and murder enthusiast Greg Allen Hargrove reportedly left his favorite blade casually hanging over the…

January 20, 2025

Take note, Charles Perrault! And would someone PLEASE shove the hemorrhaging corpse of Grace Kelly out of the driver’s seat??…

January 3, 2025

FISHERS, Ind. — A small group hosted an intervention recently to help their friend Krista Simmons who has become a…