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Sigur Rós Karaoke Massive Flop at Office Party

STATEN ISLAND, N.Y. — Measureworks IT technician Jeff Simmins left dozens of bar patrons perplexed last night after singing “Svefn-g-englar” by Icelandic avant-rock band Sigur…

Steampunk Beaten Up By Steamjock

LONDON — Local steampunk Alexi Franklin was assaulted yesterday by fellow Pincham High classmate and noted steamjock Victor Gryphon, multiple witnesses confirmed. “He kept calling…

Experimental Song Fails

AUSTIN, Texas — Researchers at the University of Texas released a study today proving that indie-rock band Gypsy Casino’s attempt to create a “quality, experimental…

Grind Band Announces Two-Day, 50-City Tour

PITTSBURGH — Grindcore band Visceral Womb will embark on a two-day, 50 city-tour in support of their new 65-song LP Biological Excrement Afterbirth, sources confirmed…