Insane Clown Posse: the jester-kings of the proudly unwashed. While we have long been fans of the acclaimed horrorcore duo, we have never been able…
TONAWANDA, N.Y. — 39-year-old Kyle Lowe recently began a new and horrifying phase of his adulthood where he now almost exclusively begins any interaction by…
WALLA WALLA, Wash. — Independent record shop Columbia Flophouse somberly announced the business’s going-out-of-business sale nearly two full weeks before the store was scheduled to…
TRANSYLVANIA — Acclaimed spook-punk band Alkaline Trio announced a purely symbolic tour date in remote settlement “The Village of Unspeakable Horrors” during their ongoing “Blood,…
Mischief Brew was a Philadelphia-based folk punk who wrote songs about labor unions, AA meetings, civil strife, and love, sweet, complicated love. They’re exactly what…
WASHINGTON — Former President Donald Trump announced his latest merch launch, a $60 Bible that will the Pledge of Allegiance, Lee Greenwood lyrics, and limited…
TYLER, Texas. — Local hardcore band Crate Full of Saws recently alarmed audience members when, in the middle of an unfocused and seemingly endless speech,…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Elder millennial Thomas Sharpe is reportedly in “critical and deteriorating condition” after erroneously believing that his haggard husk of a body could…
The Wet Bandits are not what anyone would call criminal masterminds. But following our mandatory annual Hard Times staff rewatch of “Home Alone,” we’re not…
BALTIMORE — Volunteers with the organization People for the Ethical Treatment of Acoustics (PETA (But Not Assholes)) recently rescued a badly mistreated Yamaha acoustic guitar…
NEW YORK — A new choose-your-own-adventure horror book intended specifically for individuals in their mid-thirties entitled “Halfway To the Grave” always results in the reader’s…
“Game of Thrones:” the acclaimed HBO fantasy-drama that proved incontrovertibly that Americans will watch literally anything if you cram enough tits and butts in front…