If we’ve learned anything from the LAMEstream media it’s that they only cover news that fits their incredibly ambiguous narrative. I literally had to go…
DIAMONDHEAD, Miss. — Local anger management counselor Damien Hall is in hot water today after instructing police officer Wayne Bailey to visualize potential suspects as…
My toddler and I have nothing in common. Fortunately, I read a bunch of fellow dads on Reddit with the same problem. But the good…
MODESTO, Calif. — Local music fan Kenny Dillinger noted publicly yesterday that he is happy to listen to anything except for women and country music,…
Career planning is increasingly becoming a priority for young Americans. In an era of bad housing and job markets, a bachelor’s degree isn’t as alluring…
WASHINGTON — Vice President Mike Pence was hospitalized last night after seeing a Tampon commercial during his bi-weekly hour of television, according to sources comforting…
According to our president, Antifa is the greatest threat facing America today, and yet so little is known about them. By avoiding high profile crimes…
CHICAGO — Local anarcho-punk Noah Wallin claimed today that he is prepared to take the lives of Scottish indie-rock band Franz Ferdinand, should the opportunity…
TRENTON, N.J. — Mafioso and “ordinary dry cleaners operator” Eugenio “Two-Bean Gene” Bianchi underwent an unexpected and surprising sexual awakening yesterday after receiving the kiss…
LOS ANGELES — Writers for the police procedural/workplace sitcom “You Have the Write to Remain Sassy” are debating how flamboyantly “gay” they should write a…
FALLS CHURCH, Va. — 36-year-old Michael Connelly’s sarcastic response moments ago to a demand from his parents effectively eliminated the possibility of receiving any inheritance…
Life, at times, can seem full of demands. Finding the right work/life balance is a very tricky thing, and it’s made trickier every time someone…
SAN FRANCISCO — Elon Musk announced today that his startup Neuralink will be able to outfit humans with a brain chip that will come preloaded…
By its very definition, not everyone can be an alpha male. While I choose to surround myself exclusively with fellow alphas, I realize that there…
PHILADELPHIA — Local man Ollie Harris forced down another five beers and a bunch of chips moments ago in an attempt to finally eat something…
