NICASIO, Calif. — Longtime Star Wars fan Jon Eaton was charged with trespassing on Skywalker Ranch, allegedly hoping to ask George Lucas if the seven-and-a-half-foot-tall…
NEW HAVEN, Conn. — Local man Trevor Good blamed his morning coffee habit for the constant nervous chatter in his head and anxious feeling in…
The place: Los Angeles. The year: 2029. Humanity has all but failed to stop Skynet and its legion of Terminators from laying waste to the…
WINNIPEG, Manitoba — Seminal poet-punk band the Weakerthans held their first unofficial reunion since their 2014 hiatus during a recent meeting of adjunct faculty for…
Selling out is a move as old as music itself. Most rock stars who decide to cash in on their fleeting fame by sacrificing total…
BOSTON — A report from the Berklee College of Music showed that half of the attendees at a recent Placebo show only thought they were…
Of all the ills plaguing Americans today, from historic drought and skyrocketing homelessness to the ongoing and totally uncontested presence of concentration camps at the…
CARVER, Mass. — Local metalhead Tyler Kearns admitted that the replica Viking sword he brought on his camping trip might look badass, but is terrible…
DETROIT — Automobile manufacturers across the country hoping to stem the tide of climate change pledged to go 100% electric by the time it’s too…
Let’s face it. Complaining online about new Weezer material is just part of the human experience. It usually occurs between early and middle adulthood, according…
LOS ANGELES — Upstairs neighbor and generally lame dude Thomas Gordon reduced the size of famed local DIY venue The Shit House by half last…
Each Sunday, The Hard Times travels back and reviews a notable album from the past. This week we tackle the legendary live album from Discharge…
CHERRY HILL, N.J. — Local woman Stacy Tran was reportedly shocked by a recent revelation that she shares a more intimate bond with her shower…
When did America lose its values? There was a time in this country when people knew their neighbors, where they weren’t afraid to greet strangers…
Internet Can’t Fucking Wait to Push Newly Famous Artist to Psychological Ruin
SEATTLE, WA — Internet commentators and online communities announced this morning that they are “fucking stoked” to push recently famous musician Hank Todd past the…