NEW YORK — Local crust punk Phil “Rat Face” Howland took creative measures last week to turn his uneven beard into a stronger representation of…
HEAVEN — St. Peter spent the afternoon guiding Anthony Bourdain through the rough-and-tumble part of Heaven where the best food trucks can be found, noting…
MANSFIELD, Mass. — The wildly popular metalcore band PussyHead warmed up the crowd at the Xfinity Center in Mansfield, Mass. last Monday night by asking…
ROCHESTER, N.Y. — The Progressive Rock Defense League demanded earlier today that the Walt Disney Company feature a princess actively engaging in fandom of famed…
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Feel free to take a mental health break today, Aries: you need it after all the mind games you’ve…
TEMPE, Ariz. — A badly scratched copy of The Offspring’s 1998 studio album Americana was rejected for trade-in by the staff of Zeta Records &…
PHILADELPHIA — Members of a local DIY punk scene were stunned to learn last week that a small portion of their West Philadelphia community recently…
LOS ANGELES — “Weird Al” Yankovic’s “This is My Hair I Cut,” a parody of Childish Gambino’s extremely popular “This is America,” has exposed a…
CLEVELAND — Local goth Stacy “Scheherazade” Kowalski reportedly may add a light gray sweater to her otherwise black wardrobe, potentially due to her fulfilling relationship,…
SEATTLE — Prospective model Magda “Mimi” Maiers had the Shutterstock watermark tattooed directly onto her forehead last week in the hopes of putting herself ahead…
Aries (March 21-April 19) Your temper will be your downfall this week, Aries. Pick your battles. Your Marxist memes on Facebook are concerning your family,…
BROOKLYN — Self-proclaimed Led Zeppelin expert Gil Costa cited local insufferable Tolkien aficionado Brian Turner yesterday as a major influence on Costa’s Zeppelin-themed social media…