Let’s get one thing straight. I didn’t come here to make friends. I’m here for one thing and one thing only. I’m your goddamn service…
SAN DIEGO — Members of chillwave band Hookah Sesh are engaged in a heated internal struggle to establish the beta of the group, according to…
MANCHESTER, N.H. — Democratic Presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders accidentally told former Vice President Joe Biden “nice set” after tonight’s democratic debate, an audio clip released…
MANCHESTER, N.H. — Democratic Presidential candidate Andrew Yang explained his promise to ensure Universal Basic Exposure to every band in America at the Democratic debate…
CONCORD, N.H. — The undeniable sexual chemistry emanating off of local folk duo The Barncat Brigade was communicated through stomps on an empty suitcase in…
FRESNO, Calif. — Local boyfriend and overall totally unremarkable guy Brian Cromwall utterly debased himself to do his girlfriend a solid yesterday by buying her…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Founding members of rock outfits Best Coast and Red Hot Chili Peppers are protesting a contentious new law that caps the amount…
According to one source within the organization, these appear to be the matches the Beyond Wrestling General Manager is planning for “Beyond Championship Wrestling” at…
CHICAGO — Popular spiked seltzer brand White Claw filed a copyright infringement lawsuit yesterday against a National Socialist black metal band of the same name,…
CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa — Daryl Jenkins, also known by his radio persona “Ass-Boy Jenkins,” was honored with a 12 Panty-Gun salute over the weekend when…
NORFOLK, Va. — The Virginia straight edge scene is split today after a controversial ruling left recently deceased member Daniel Vitberg unable to be buried…
Medal of Honor Awarded to McDonald’s Employee Who Put Chicken Nugget in Trump’s Order of Large Fries
Medal of Honor Awarded to McDonald’s Employee Who Put Chicken Nugget in Trump’s Order of Large Fries
WASHINGTON — President Trump awarded the Medal of Honor, the nation’s most prestigious personal military decoration, to the “hero” who slipped a chicken nugget into…
GAINSVILLE, Fla. — Iconic third-wave ska band Less Than Jake has formed a supergroup with 90s alt-rock band Better Than Ezra, with early reports suggesting…
NEW YORK — Local New York resident Laura Rathi argued relentlessly yesterday about the geography of the state of New York, claiming the entire state…
I’m not a sociopath. I’m aware that you can’t see through my tall, chiseled, fragrant body. And I feel bad about it. But life isn’t…
