DULUTH, Minn. — Local couple Alice Parker and Shaun McCoy announced the reunification of their relationship today, after having already broken up and reconciled twice…
NEW YORK — NBA commissioner Adam Silver is using the league’s ongoing suspension due to COVID-19 to finally add “no dogs” to the official rulebook,…
NEW YORK — Local man David Treyborn realized today, while testing the flow of the new bidet attachment he purchased as a low-waste alternative to…
GLENSIDE, Penn. — A new report from the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention states that a majority of American’s are still battling to find…
Given that we’ve been in some sort of recession or another ever since I’ve been old enough to know the word “republican,” it’s time we…
NEW YORK — Quarantined high school bully Evan Maddox, under stay-at-home orders for the past three weeks, gave himself swirlies yesterday out of desperation, amused…
Opinion: I Hope We Can Still Be Friends Because I May Need to Borrow Money or Your Car at Some Point
Opinion: I Hope We Can Still Be Friends Because I May Need to Borrow Money or Your Car at Some Point
Listen, this isn’t working out. Sorry. I’m sure this must come as a shock to you especially since I overdrew our joint bank account last…
ATLANTA — Georgia Governor Brian Kemp announced that the state will close hospitals, re-open bars, and “just let God do his thing or whatever he’s…
SAVANNAH, Ga. — Local punk Jake Stanton used a photo of a trashy apartment as his Zoom background yesterday to hide the true nature of…
BAKERSFIELD, Calif. — Local dad Craig Harper admitted today that the lockdown set in place to stop the spread of COVID-19 was really fucking up…
GENEVA, Switzerland — The World Health Organization released strict new guidelines today to help millions of people quarantined around the world avoid nomination for viral…
LOS GATOS, Calif. — A selection of various movie and television titles gave an ultimatum to the streaming service Netflix last week that if it…
ATLANTA — Georgia Governor Brian Kemp commissioned today the construction of a series of statues commemorating the COVID-19 virus as a way to “preserve its…
Sometimes it takes an extraordinary event to make you see what you’ve been taking for granted. I think we can all agree that the COVID-19…
CARSON CITY, Nev. — Local quarantined woman Laura Lamont found a creative way to stay busy indoors yesterday by repurposing a bunch of broken glass…