HENDERSON, Nev. — Model train enthusiast and man possibly on the brink of madness Jonathan Mackay is reportedly “sick and tired” of finding crust punk…
BALTIMORE — Self-described “literary punk” Candy Huang reported today that although she’d read about the groundbreaking book, “The Hard Times: The First 40 Years,” she…
PATCHOGUE, N.Y. — Grave Danger lead singer and self-described “walking ball of nerves” Dave Schwantes admitted today that he was “pretty sure” everyone was staring…
OKLAHOMA CITY — Indie noise band Gifthorse is knee-deep in a heated, one-sided rivalry this week with the generally “nice dudes” in fellow local band…
BOISE, Idaho — A pointless, rambling political rant posted to Facebook by local man Terry Boe this morning resulted in mass casualties to his friend…
VENICE BEACH, Calif. — Researchers from the University of California-Los Angeles reported Wednesday that marijuana is still the leading cause of drum circles, confirming that…
LANSING, Mich. — Ultimate-guitar.com announced on Friday a new feature called “oral tabs,” which allows users to submit recommended mouth movements to accompany each note…
HOUSTON — Local woman Claudia Sims was criticized yesterday for wearing a NASA T-shirt, despite the fact that she has never traveled outside of the…
BROOKLYN, N.Y.— Local audiophile Shelby Hastings reportedly ended a promising Tinder date prematurely last night after accepting an invite up to Daniel Estrada’s apartment and…
BRANSON, Mo. — Teddy Hitherton, the lead guitarist and backup vocalist of The Hitherton Family Jamboree Gang, announced yesterday that he would continue as a…
WASHINGTON — A harrowing new study by the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency found that the encroaching threat of climate change will turn what would be…
OAKLAND, Calif. — Self-described “Green Day guru” Andrew Sullivan felt heavily disrespected by Kerrang Magazine yesterday after they published an article titled “50 Things You…
WASHINGTON — Congressional members from both sides of the aisle put aside partisan differences last week, coming together to ruthlessly mock the band of Rep.…
DUBLIN, Ohio — Local creep Alex Gallarzo commented openly yesterday afternoon on the future sexuality of a six-year-old girl while in line at the Dublin…
MESA, Ariz. — Charmbleeder frontman Mickey Horn made the mistake of opening his band’s show last night with a question about the crowd’s long distance…
