June 2022 - HARDTIMES

Zachary Wolf • June 30, 2022

BEMIDJI, Minn. — A well-worn Danzig shirt owned by middle-aged metalhead Kyle Russo narrowly avoided being donated to Goodwill with…

Louie Aronowitz • June 30, 2022

PERRYSBURG, Ohio — A recent posting of singer/songwriter Dan Sheen’s Bandcamp link has silenced his local friend group chat despite…

Dan Rice • June 30, 2022

Let’s face it, you are special. Your mom knows it, you know it, and you’re special. Call it the spark,…

Bobby Korec • June 30, 2022

Republicans, rejoice! We’ve stumbled upon some extremely juicy intel regarding your second favorite Biden to shit on. Is it Hunter’s…

Chris Bowen • June 29, 2022

CANASTOTA, N.Y — A rough-looking carnival worker sporting a Pantera shirt responsible for running a Ferris wheel made it certain…

Tracy Kellett • June 29, 2022

Life is full of little surprises, like finding a crumpled $20 in the wash, or a pregnancy scare. But this…

Matt McInerney • June 29, 2022

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. — Local parents Jean and Tom Decker finally decided it's acceptable to let their middle-aged son watch that…

Tim Graham • June 29, 2022

KENOSHA, Wis. — The long-hunted serial murderer known only as The Kenosha Cannibal was pleasantly surprised he could still slip…

Dan Kozuh • June 28, 2022

SYRACUSE, N.Y. — Local punk and administrative assistant Ross Taylor celebrated fifteen years at a job that he claims he…

Stephen Bell • June 28, 2022

CARSON CITY, Nev. — Local graphic designer Sam Davis regretted ever mentioning that he’s never seen “Star Wars” after being…

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