Girl Boss Hires Girl Thugs to Beat Up Girl Union
TRENTON, N.J. — Members of the newly formed girl union at the Girl Power company report being subjected to vicious…
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Stephen Bell
98 stories found
Mötley Crüe Fans Disappointed After Nikki Sixx Discusses Time He Had Actual Consensual Sex With Someone
LOS ANGELES — Fans of the ‘80s hair metal band Mötley Crüe are reportedly heartbroken and disgusted after hearing bassist…
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That’s Weird: We Thought Our Friends Would Be More Envious of the Fact We Had an 11-Way With the Members of Reel Big Fish
Reel Big Fish is, without a doubt, the greatest ska band that came about as a result of third-wave ska…
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ICE Agents Begin Process of Arresting or Killing All 175 Million Witnesses to Their Latest Murder
MINNEAPOLIS — In the wake of murdering another U.S. citizen in Minneapolis this morning, ICE agents have already begun the…
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Wellness Check Called on Members of King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard After Two-Month Gap with No New Album Released
MELBOURNE, Australia — Concerned fans of psychedelic rock outfit King Gizzard and the Lizard Wizard, best known for their succinct…
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Recession Indicator? Our Entire Economic System Is Based on the Exploitation of Laborers for the Surplus Value Their Labor Creates
Everyone these days is looking for recession indicators. Things like the price of Arizona Iced Tea, inverted yield curves, and…
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Well, Shit: This Douchebag Who Everyone Thought Peaked in High School Is Having a Successful Comeback in His 40s
So I knew this total jagoff Kevin Kergis, who everyone was absolutely certain peaked in high school. Unfortunately, he’s been…
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Punk Nurse Asks if Any Patients Want to Play Slap the IV Bag
SPRINGFIELD, Ill. — Intensive care nurse Harper Schlader was reportedly asking any of her patients currently in the ICU if…
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Viewers Look on in Mix of Horror/Excitement as PornHub Announces Its First Ever Shark Week
MONTREAL, Quebec — Regular viewers of the online pornography streaming company PornHub looked on with a strange mixture of horror…
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Here’s Which Episodes of “Mr. Wizard” To Watch in What Order To Make Crystal Meth
Don Herbert better known as “Mr. Wizard” was the beloved host of “Mr. Wizard’s World,” an educational science show that…
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