Times are tough. With gas prices in extreme fluctuation, it seemed like a prudent move on my part to start carpooling. My best friend and…
HOUSTON — Local punk Alec Ryers revealed that all four tires on his heavily used Honda Fit were spares, according to sources familiar with the…
Former NFL player and University of Georgia football darling Herschel Walker is currently running to be a United States senator representing the state of Georgia.…
Having grown discontent with the drudgery of modern-day life we decided to move out to the country to eat a lot of peaches. And yes…
SEATTLE – An enormous black hole sun capable of devouring the entire world and casting it into the void would come a lot faster if…
In Green Day’s song “Longview,” singer Billy Joe Armstrong makes reference to masturbating until it loses its fun. We decided to try this out and,…
Person Who Has Never Seen “Star Wars” Not Saying That Because They Want You to Show Them “Star Wars”
Person Who Has Never Seen “Star Wars” Not Saying That Because They Want You to Show Them “Star Wars”
CARSON CITY, Nev. — Local graphic designer Sam Davis regretted ever mentioning that he’s never seen “Star Wars” after being inundated with offers by everyone…
PHILO, Ohio — Local 8th grader and “true” punk Tim Krenalka reportedly knows his geography pretty well, but refuses to participate in any lesson which…
LANCASTER, Penn. — Local punk Jason Harris was disappointed that he is unable to bond with his father over their shared hatred of Joe Biden…
SYDNEY — An enlightening new study from researchers at The University of Sydney found that the majority of sea turtles get straws stuck up their…
SALEM, Ore. — Metalhead and biology lab technician Chris Mathes once again cut the fingertips off his safety gloves despite the risk of contamination and…
When we saw that this beautiful German Shepherd named Rory was going to be retired by the police department, we wanted to give it a…
Jason Kuebler has been my worst enemy for as long as I can remember. Getting bullied by him starting in grade school and then all…
When many people think of drugs they think of this scary boogey man that has no social benefits. Of course, some drugs can’t be trusted.…
CANAL WINCHESTER, Ohio — Local man Evan Taylor found himself the unwitting winner of his friend’s ugly Christmas sweater party after wearing a horrendously tacky…