DES MOINES, Iowa — Highly decorated Eagle Scout Jeff Bronson was excited to finally put his knot tying skills to use as a shibari instructor, according to several sources familiar with the proud 23-year-old.
“Whether it was being a surgeon, a sailor, or a cattle rancher, I always knew I wanted to use the knot tying skills the Boy Scouts of America taught me for some greater purpose,” said Bronson, currently heaving a tightly bound customer into the air. “Little did I know I’d find my calling as a shibari instructor in Iowa. It turns out that tightly winding rope around people’s genitals, fixing them into erotic positions, and using the cords to help people unlock a level of intimacy and spirituality never before experienced is my true calling. And it wouldn’t have been possible without my scout leaders!”
Customers of Bronson’s shibari instruction school were equally impressed by his ability to incorporate other scout skills into the activity.
“Me and my boyfriend wanted to incorporate candle wax play into our session,” said newbie shibari enthusiast Meghan Burns. “Unfortunately we didn’t have a lighter or matches for the candles. But Jeff was able to show us how to build a fire with just two sticks and a lot of friction. His leather working badge also came in handy as we developed new bondage outfits for ourselves. The Boy Scouts really helped turn him into a one man kink machine!”
Not everyone was impressed by Bronson’s turn towards shibari instructor, including his former scout leader Guy Demars.
“This is not exactly what I intended for Jeff when I taught him those knots,” said a frustrated Demars tightly clutching his Bible. “Maybe it was all the talk of whippings and the way Jesus was bound during his crucifixion that subconsciously affected him. But that wasn’t kinky, that was for the sins of humanity! I guess this was bound to happen after we let women and gays become Boy Scouts. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to another settlement hearing about sexual abuse by scout leaders.”
In related news, Bronson’s girlfriend Erika Cade has been putting her Girl Scout art merit badge to work as she has become one of the most popular Rule 34 artists on DeviantArt.
