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In an Attempt To Lift This Demonic Curse, We Ranked the Best Horror Movie From Each State

South Dakota: “Imprint” (2007)

For a culture so rich with Folklore, Native Americans are severely underrepresented in horror. To be fair, they’re underrepresented in virtually everything else too.

Tennessee: “The Evil Dead” (1981)

Possibly the greatest representation of any state in any movie ever. Outside of Nashville, the entire state of Tennessee is nothing but old cabins filled with evil.

Texas: “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (1974)

If I were going to pick anything else I would need to write an entire essay defending it. The easiest choice on the list by a mile. Maybe too easy. I just grew a leatherface.

Utah: “Carnival of Souls” (1962)

Nothing encapsulates the feeling of living in Utah better than wondering if you’re actually dead.

Vermont: What Lies Beneath (2000)

This middle-of-the-road haunted house movie that Robert Zemeckis made while waiting for Tom Hanks to lose weight for “Castaway” is pretty much the only horror movie actually set in Vermont. Please, spirits, accept this meager offering, I am but a humble blogger unworthy of your mercy but please!

Virginia “Donnie Darko” (2001)

It explores the horrors of being born kind of smart in Virginia and how crazy that can make you.

Washington: “The Stepfather” (1987)

Vampires, zombies, and werewolves can all take a hike. There’s nothing more terrifying than when mom’s new boyfriend wants you to call him “dad.”

West Virginia: “Night of the Hunter” (1955)

It’s the movie that gave us the love and hate knuckle tattoo trope. Speaking of knuckle tattoos, the word “sale” just appeared on both sets of mine. There isn’t much time.

Wisconsin: “Monster House” (2006)

Dan Harmon of “Community” and “Rick & Morty” fame helped pen this surprisingly creepy PG monster-in-the-house kids movie. The twist? The house IS the monster! It’s a scary concept, but nothing in the movie is scarier than computer-animated old man Steve Buscemi.

Wyoming: “Close Encounters of the Third Kind” (1977)

Though the action of this movie spans the globe, it culminates at Wyoming’s Devil’s Tower National Monument. It’s inspired by allegedly true accounts of the UFO phenomenon, but the true horror comes from the movie answering the question “What is the annoying guy from Jaws had kids?”

Welp, that’s the list, and the curse is still going strong. If anyone needs me, I’ll be a cardboard cutout of Freddy Krueger over at Archive Arcane. $95.

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