curse Archives - The Hard Times

Drummer Hits Scary Upside-Down Cymbal, Ushering In Centuries of Plague and Famine

Drummer Hits Scary Upside-Down Cymbal, Ushering In Centuries of Plague and Famine

By John Danek

WASHINGTON — Drummer Cory Adonis of sludge metal band Casket Fissure accidentally opened the biblical Seventh Seal yesterday, commencing the end times by hitting his…

Man Caught Stealing from Merch Table Condemned to Be New Merch Guy Until Ancient Curse Is Broken

Man Caught Stealing from Merch Table Condemned to Be New Merch Guy Until Ancient Curse Is Broken

By Ted Pillow

TOPEKA, Kan. — Local punk Ryan Brewer was doomed Thursday night to wander the earth as a merch guy until he can find a replacement…

Kinda Weird: All the Children From the First Kidz Bop Album Are Now Dead

Kinda Weird: All the Children From the First Kidz Bop Album Are Now Dead

By Patrick Coyne

Ready to feel old? The first Kidz Bop album came out 17 years ago. Since 2001, Kidz Bop has released more than 37 albums of…

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Episode 7: Contributor/Musician Jordan Breeding

This week on The Pitch Group we talk with Hard Times contributor and senior writer at Cracked.Com, Jordan […]
Goth’s Not Dead

This week on Fanboys, the guys rush to the defense of a beleaguered Bruce Springsteen, reluctantly crown a second Hall […]
Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa…?

Today’s episode makes a whole bunch of no sense. Mario and Luigi go fishing, even though they have plans to go to […]
The Hard Times Podcast w/ Walter Delgado

Matt and Bill are joined by Rotting Out’s Walter Delgado to talk about prison and weight training. You know, […]
Episode 6: Hawaii Punk with Kevin Tit

This week on The Pitch Group we talk with stand up comedian and musician Kevin Tit. From Hawaii, to Germany, to […]

Opinion: Do You All Hate Me?
Opinion: Do You All Hate Me?
By Nick Ortolani on June 30, 2019
Like, seriously. I’m asking honestly, do you all hate me? I don’t know, maybe I’m just being paranoid but I sometimes feel like you’re all talking behind my back or...
Opinion: No, You Forgot the Fucking Aux Cable
Opinion: No, You Forgot the Fucking Aux Cable
By John Danek on June 26, 2019
I can't believe we're finally heading to Ozzfest! We've been talking about this for years and it's finally happening. Where else can you find the taint-shaking talents of Rob Zombie,...
Opinion: I’m Just a Girl, Standing in Front of a Boy, Asking for His Birth Time
Opinion: I’m Just a Girl, Standing in Front of a Boy, Asking for His Birth Time
By Krissy Howard on June 23, 2019
Hey you. It’s me. I need to ask you something and I hope you’ll be honest with me. I know you’ve been hurt before by people who are quick to...
Opinion: Miles Davis Played Ska
Opinion: Miles Davis Played Ska
By John Danek on May 21, 2019
Virtuoso. Iconoclast. Visionary. Ska pioneer. These are just some of the terms used to describe legendary jazz/ska trumpeter Miles Davis. He never once confined himself to the boundaries of genre...