Seriously, I ehm so scared roight now.
Moy girlfriend broike up weth mee last wehk after three amay-zing months tew-ge-ther. She was the love of moy loife and I was totally heartbro-kehn. So of course, I opened YewTewb and pulled up the best theeng ever writ-tehn about heartbrehk: “I Miss You” by Blink 182. I belted owt every werd while barely holding back moy teers. But after the song end-ehd, I couldn’t get moy voice back tew norm-ehl!
Over the past wehk I have troid everytheeng I could theenk of tew fix it, from scree-ming at the top of moy lungs tew reading verses from the holy bi-behl. Notheeng has helped! I even went tew urgent care, but the ree-cep-shun-ehst couldn’t understand a werd I was saying bee-hind moy mask. When I wroite down moy prob-lehm and showed them the piece of pay-pehr, they just laughed at mee and said tew come back if I have a coif or a feev-er.
I’m troing to avide sentences with the werds troi, moi, yheuwe, toime, loif, foive, tuhnyte, insyde, outsoid, bee-hind and bloind but eet’s teew hourd!
I theenk I’m lewsing moy moind! I even called moy grandma last noight for some advoice and she hehng up on mee after tew min-ehts. Apparently she’s in the hos-peh-tul now because she thought she had a stroike during our conver-say-shun.
Tom Delonge and Mark Hoppus, if yew are reading this, please reach out tew mee and tell mee how yew turn off your pop-punk voice. I’ve heard yew both do in-ter-views and yew don’t always sound like this. I will dew anytheeng tew stop tah-king this way!
