Everyone on Adult Kickball Team Fucking
WASHINGTON — After months of denial, sources finally confirmed Tuesday that everyone on the adult recreational kickball team Bad Pitches…
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Jus Kaplan
50 stories found
Man Dies At 27 Despite Not Being Cool
HARRISBURG, Pa. — Local man Albert Olmsted passed away at the age of 27 despite not even being remotely cool,…
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We Interviewed Weird Al But It Turned Out To Be Nardwuar So We Just Interviewed Him About Weird Al
Who doesn’t love “Weird Al” Yankovic? We sure as hell do! His parodies have poked fun at literal decades of…
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I’m Your Empath Landlord and I’m Devastated I Have To Raise Your Rent $500 a Month
Hello! I hope now works for a quick phone call. It always feels better to talk instead of text if…
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Eco-Conscious Punk Pretends Never Getting Driver’s License Was An Environmental Thing
PORTLAND, Ore.—Sage Copeland, who has never driven a day in his life, is adamant that his automobile abstinence is an…
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Oh You Like Charli XCX? Name Three Brands of Poppers
So you think you’re a stan of Charli XCX, huh. One of Charli’s Angels? Cute. You’re gonna have to prove…
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Circle of Life: Man Conceived In Bathroom At Slipknot Concert Plans to Follow in His Parent’s Footsteps At 25th Anniversary Tour
NOBLESVILLE, Ind. — Local metalhead Lonny Godwin, a man who was conceived in the handicapped stall in the bathroom of…
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Explosive Exposé Reveals How Music Industry Created Nirvana To Sell Graphic Tees At Target 30 Years Later
NEW YORK – A tell-all HBO documentary is sending shockwaves through America after revealing the iconic grunge band Nirvana was…
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Mental Health Win: YouTube Will Now Notify Your Therapist When You Search for “Slowed + Reverb” Versions of Songs
Finally, a victory for public health! This week, the American Psychological Association announced a long overdue partnership with YouTube to…
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We Sat Down With Noah Kahan but It Ended Up Just Being Some Random Vermont Hippie
Noah Kahan is taking the folk-pop world by storm, and we’re totally here for it! The Vermont native, known for…
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