Jus Kaplan, Author at HARDTIMES

So You Drank Two Nights in a Row in Your 30s: Here’s How to Draft a Will

January 29, 2023

For most people in their twenties, drinking two nights in a row is hardly notable. It’s basically an every-other-day occurrence.…

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5 Hyperpop Artists To Play if You’re Trying To Kill MeeMaw

January 19, 2023

So you think it might be time for dear old MeeMaw to head to the pearly gates. She’s like 103,…

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Just Because My Last Piercing Never Healed Doesn’t Mean I Can’t Get Another One

January 5, 2023

I got my ear lobes pierced about seven months ago. The left one is still kinda swollen, crusty, and bleeds…

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The Next Supreme Court Justice? This Geriatric Man Doesn’t Give A Shit About My Crippling Student Loans

December 5, 2022

Wow, I am truly starstruck. I was walking around my local Stop & Shop a few weeks ago and ran…

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QUIZ: Did You Actually Like ‘Hey Arnold!’ Or Were You Just A Weird Kid Into Smooth Jazz?

October 17, 2022

“Move it, football head!” For some, this iconic line immediately evokes memories of the classic Nickelodeon cartoon ‘Hey Arnold!’–starring a…

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Werk, Queen: Three Inspiring Roughnecks Who Are Crushing It on RuPaul’s Fracking Ranch in Wyoming

September 20, 2022

“RuPaul’s Drag Race” is nothing short of an international sensation. The Emmy Award-winning reality competition franchise has launched the careers…

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29-Year-Old Loses Fridge Under Giant Pile of Wedding Invitations

September 10, 2022

SOMERVILLE, Mass. — Local 29-year-old Hector Pinske can no longer locate his refrigerator under a steadily growing pile of magnets,…

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ASMR Isn’t Sexual for Most People, but Thank Fucking God It Is for Me

August 31, 2022

Not everyone experiences autonomous sensory meridian response, or ASMR, the tingly brain sensation triggered by everything from whispering and crunching…

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How To Weaponize 1990s Nostalgia

June 20, 2022

Few forces in this world are more powerful than nostalgia. When wielded correctly, this incredible emotion can be used to…

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No Kink At Pride Unless You’re My Best Friend’s Hot Dad Walter

June 4, 2022

Pride month is about inclusion and that means including everyone. Parades should be safe spaces for people of all gender…

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