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5 Ways to Enjoy the Super Bowl Vicariously Through Your Friend’s Gambling Problem

If you’re like me, the Super Bowl is the only football game you’ll watch all year. Maybe a coworker invited you to a viewing party and you’re physically incapable of turning down free food, so you said, what the hell? The only problem is, you just can’t seem to get excited about all the spectacle because you’ve got no personal attachment to either team. But with more people than ever betting on this year’s big game, there’s bound to be someone nearby to vicariously raise the stakes for you. Here’s how to enjoy the Super Bowl through someone else’s gambling problem.

Spot the Gambler

Look around the room for someone who is mentally elsewhere. They’re paying close attention to the game, but they’re not rooting for any team in particular. In fact, they don’t seem to be having much fun at all. If you spot them cycling between their DraftKings and Betstar apps, you’ve found your gambler!

Approach and Gather Info
Go up and ask if this person has money riding on the game and watch their lifeless, sunken eyes try to light up. To add some drama, get some personal information out of them about how a win or loss will affect their life. You’ll be on the edge of your seat knowing that their spouse is out the door if the Chiefs don’t come through.

You’re hanging out with someone waiting to find out if their legs are going to be broken, this is fascinating!

It’s Not Who Wins Or Loses

The final outcome of the game is only the tip of the veritable iceberg of things to bet on. Gambling establishments offer more prop bets during the Super Bowl than any other game. This explains your friend’s interest in the coin toss, or excitement over what color Gatorade the 49ers are drinking. There are countless minuscule ways for your friend to ruin their life before the national anthem is even over!

Go Big Or Go Home
Encourage them to really put it all on the line with some extra bets or parlays. Emphasize that the Super Bowl will be their last chance to bet on football until at least September, so why not go all out. Besides, with all the novice gamblers betting today, it’s practically amateur hour out there. They’ve got this!

Don’t Get Involved, Unless They Win!
Chances are, if things don’t go as expected, your friend might invite you to get in on the action or ask for a loan. The keyword here is, “vicariously.” Keep your skin out of the game and enjoy the show from a distance. When the leg breakers come it’s time to get the fuck out of Dodge. On the other hand if they win you’ve got a new best friend on a manic high with a pocket full of cash, let the good times roll!