There are only so many ways to get out of a Thanksgiving dinner with your family, and since the lockdown ended 2 years ago and isn’t coming back anytime soon, the biggest one is out. But what if there was a way to show up, be present, and just not remember any of it? And what if that brought with it an opportunity for one helluva soundtrack to make it happen? Consider this list the order you should take them in as well, you’re going on a rollercoaster of a journey! It’s just one you might not remember all of. (Listen to the playlist)

25. “The Ecstasy of Gold”

A cover of an Ennio Morricone song might seem like an odd place to start, but what you’re doing is laying the groundwork. They like to open live concerts with this, and there’s a reason for that: it’s long, instrumental, and sets the stage for bigger, better things to come.

24. “Damage Inc.”

You should probably get used to the idea of property damage being inevitable as early as possible into this process.

23. “St. Anger”

Listen, I know. I know what you’re typing. Yeah: it’s a dissonant, childish, no-guitar-solo-having tantrum of a song, BUT…you’re getting blackout drunk at Thanksgiving dinner, maturity left with the sweet potato pie. There is something undeniably raw about this track, and it’s a great place to properly start.

22. “Fuel”

Largely considered one of their best to come out of the post-Black Album pivot to alt-rock, “Fuel” is a song that demands attention, and for this quick-and-dirty build to getting drunk, it has a nice double-meaning. Fuel up, you still got a long road ahead of you.

21. “Whiskey in the Jar”

I mean…right? Is it a perfect cover? No. Does it exactly fit the tone of what you’re going for? Yes. Is it actually a pretty great anthem before you’ve crossed officially into ‘tore up’? Yeah, yeah it is.

20. “Enter Sandman”

The one hardcore fans inexplicably love despite it heralding the big sound change that they all hated. Relive those heady ECW days by pretending you’re Sandman by chugging a beer and smacking someone with a stick. Then throw a pumpkin pie at them to mourn how it all turned out when WWE tried to revive the brand.

19. “For Whom the Bell Tolls”

It tolls for thee and thy liver. This one’s going to be the first “big drop” down the rollercoaster as it’s long, thrumming, impactful, has one helluva solo, and makes a handy way to keep drinking every time they say “For whom the bell tolls!”

18. “I Disappear”

Starting the next round of build toward another plummet, we have this little snapshot of the early 2000s. This was weird. It’s also great if you need a break because the fam just started bringing up all that shit going on in the Middle East, and not a ONE of them actually knows the first thing about it, so make like this mellow, unexpected jam and vanish for a bit.

17. “No Leaf Clover”

Symphony and metal go so well together that they’re now a genre. When this classic first came out, it was reviled by purists who viewed it as just another layer of Metallica selling out, but now it can be the one song where you actually socialize as the next round of drinking kicks in and you get to reveal it as a fun, secret hit that goes surprisingly hard.

16. “Nothing Else Matters”

No two ways about it: every playlist needs a song or two to slow things down and make people appreciate what they have and who they’re with. Make sure you drink some water that doesn’t have alcohol in it with this one, it’s the right thing to do.

15. “The Four Horsemen”

Metallica’s first album was never my favorite as it always sounded a little raw for my taste and prioritized a faster, more punk rock feel than the heavier, more bombastic metal sound they’d later pursue. That having been said: a classic’s a classic for a reason, and this is the perfect build to the crescendo coming up.

14. “Jump in the Fire”

Gonna need to make sure the latch on your fireplace is secure before this one comes on. Cause you’re just thrashed enough to do something TRULY stupid because the man in your headphones told you to, so be safe…while you’re drinking way too much to forget the debate you just overheard between two uncles about feminism.

13. “Ride the Lightning”

Did you know that “lightning” is another word for moonshine? You do now, and now this song REALLY fits with what you’re getting into! A quick, dirty dip before the last climb to the final 10, and probably the only way to hear about the death penalty around Thanksgiving without being drawn into some bullshit.

12. “Fade to Black”

A more dour, depressing track that many likely assume is a later release, but Metallica’s always had that stone heart that cracks for ballads. Relax, descend, have some more water, shit’s about to get real, but few things are more real than confronting one’s own mortality as frankly as this does. And by now, your short-term memory will probably be doing just that.

11. “Orion”

Just a great, weird, semi-cosmic instrumental track that I think plays perfectly after the depth of darkness the last one brings. The lights that prickle in the darkness, the last few neurons that still function properly as your father brings up how the turkey’s a little dry, and HERE WE GO! Time for the final 10.

10. “Until It Sleeps”

It’s weird, the video’s weird, and it’s way more introspective than songs that would later try to be deep. Playlists need wildcards, ‘Load’ and ‘ReLoad’ get a lot of crap, but there are some bangers on both.

9. “Bleeding Me”

A song that is indulgently long but changes up enough and has a dark kind of allure as it gets harder, faster, and more driving. Be the beast that feeds the beast and start a fight with whoever’s still awake. They probably won’t remember either, it’s fine.

8. “Thing That Should Not Be”

Late bassist Cliff Burton was apparently behind a lot of Metallica’s early “supernatural” songs, and this was the top of those. Glimpses of “A Shadow Over Innsmouth” will be all you’re getting as you drink like a fish to stave off the madness of the ripping guitar solo and the ocean of imagery conjured by the lyrics.

7. “Some Kind of Monster”

This fucking song. How can you not be nostalgic for the line drawn in the sand between members of the band AND their fans? Scoring a documentary that was a more startling snapshot of very damaged, famous men and also emblematic of what was going on at the time, it’s a good reminder: you did this to yourself, and that’s okay. Things can and will get better.

6. “The Unforgiven”

Say goodbye to your last lingering concrete thoughts, and say goodbye to Aunt Agnes’ godawful ambrosia salad, go ahead and tell her I said so, with thrumming, hardened sound and grim, sorrowful lyrics remind you of what you’ve done to yourself.

5. “One”

Nothing like a song about the horrors of war to send you soaring. Do NOT take a shot for every gunshot, you won’t make it through the night and you are already at the point where you might want to get your stomach pumped.

4. “Welcome Home (Sanitarium)”

Played later in the night, this will perfectly encapsulate how you feel at the moment. It’s eerie, isn’t it? How well it works played after 10 p.m. on Thanksgiving, people passed out on the sofa or in bed. Or even at the table, I don’t know how hard the rest of your family goes.

3. “Whiplash”

By this point, Thanksgiving is properly ruined and you’re likely the lightning rod for that, so you may as well do as the song says and act like a maniac. You won’t be acting by this point, let’s be frank.

2. “Master of Puppets”

Not only the apotheosis of the band’s early, aggressive sound, but when you wake up the next morning and your uncle tells you the only actual truth he’s ever said to you: “Only real hangover cure is a little hair of the dog,” the lyrics about cycles of addiction will take on a whole new meaning!

1. “Battery”

You didn’t think I was going to end on that dour note, didja? Nah, one more track, one more beer, one more goodnight argument you won’t remember anyway, this is simply a perfect song to end the night on.

Well, you managed to ruin Thanksgiving! But by being someone that everyone can talk about for the next month, instead of just rehashing old family beefs and politics, you also kinda SAVED Thanksgiving! Congratulations, that’ll hold them over til…Christmas?!