OLYMPIA, Wash. — Preston Gage, guitarist for the legendary drone metal band Annulvoid, is kicking himself after playing the wrong note for an entire show, sources confirmed.
“What is wrong with me? I had one job! I just had to sustain a single note for the entire 83-minute, single-song setlist we had planned. Stupid, stupid, stupid!” screamed Gage as he pounded his hand against his forehead. “Obviously, I realized my mistake immediately, but there was nothing I could do about it. Can you imagine how embarrassing it would be to just suddenly change notes? I don’t want to give the audience whiplash. It’s like, if you miss your exit, you don’t just pull your e-brake and slam into reverse, killing everyone in traffic. You just have to ride it out until the next exit.”
Judson Riley, a local fan who attended the show, couldn’t help but notice the guitarist’s blunder.
“Look, I’d like to pretend it wasn’t a big deal, but it was obvious from the second the song started that something was wrong. It just didn’t sound dissonant at all. When the rest of the band started playing, it was so clear. What was this melodic nonsense?” said Riley. “You could see the band was trying to figure out how to adapt, but they just kept coming up with catchy riffs and horrific harmonies. At some point, I actually left to find earplugs in my car.”
Morgan Bryce, the band’s longtime guitar tech, didn’t know what to do.
“At first, I was panicking, thinking I hadn’t tuned his guitar right. I remember scrambling backstage, checking the tuning of all the other guitars, but they were all correct. I mashed every dial on the soundboard, doing everything I could think of to fix that dreadful noise, but it was too late,” said Bryce, mentally replaying every second. “Ultimately, I just had to accept the inevitable. Preston made a mistake, and the crowd was just going to have to pay for his wrongdoings while the rest of the band improvised around it. It sounded like a rock show; it was a nightmare.”
At press time, Annulvoid had announced that Gage would be parting ways with the band, accompanied by the devastating wish to “maintain a harmonious relationship.”