KATY, Texas — Local parent and avid gamer Ashley Garcia reportedly refers to every piece of her son’s sports equipment as a “Nike,” regardless of…
DUXBURY, Mass. — Members of suburban punk band Trash Pirates shocked the underground music world by openly thanking their parents’ money in the liner notes…
COLUMBIA, S.C. — An advocacy group of American parents announced this morning that the top new personality on the Twitch video game streaming platform was…
GREENSBORO, N.C. — An aging drum kit living with local parents Barbara and Sam Willett has no imminent plans to leave, despite staying in their…
CLEVELAND — Local child Dixie “Shortcake” Ross was utterly bewildered this week when her first day of kindergarten revealed a world unlike anything she’s ever…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Local parents Joyce and Rich Gloppin have severely overestimated their 9th-grade daughter Dani’s social standing and ability to obtain illicit, cool drugs,…
Do you ever get the feeling like you were destined for something more? When you take a long, hard look at your gorgeous wife, three…
NEW ORLEANS — Jerry Nichols, the enthusiastic and supportive father of drummer Chris Nichols, is incessantly emailing his son band name suggestions as they come…
RICHWOOD, W. Va. — Local punk Jesse Hallenbeck asked her family today what time Christmas dinner is supposed to go on at her grandma’s house…
SALEM, Mass. — The parents of goth teenager Thomas Sullivan are uncertain how to properly stuff their son’s fishnet Christmas stocking, sources close to the…
LA LUZ, N.M. — Zoe Rivas was reunited last night with her family’s premium cable subscription immediately upon returning to her parents’ house for a…
BOSTON — Stanley Remington, the older brother of local punk James “Meatball” Remington, is “doing fantastic,” according to a report issued by the mother of…
MORRISTOWN, N.J. — Mid-level alternative rock band the Mandarks are planning to break up this summer after 14 years of recording and touring once their…
AMERICA — Parents nationwide went into a frenzy yesterday when a dangerous new party drug swept across their Facebook pages, multiple panicked sources confirmed. The…
HADDONFIELD, N.J. — 13-year-old “badass” Aiden Christian spent Saturday afternoon skateboarding with friends and spray-painting the anarchy symbol on the Queen Highway Overpass before rushing…
