ORLANDO, Fla. — Disney-obsessed middle-aged man Sebastian Werner is to be tried as a minor after allegedly assaulting several guests at the happiest place on…
HARRISBURG, Pa. — 35-year-old community college student and single mother Rebecca Steiner has bummed everybody out by raising her hand to contribute some sort of…
IOWA CITY, Iowa — Researchers at the Iowa Center for Gene Therapy announced that they may have developed a way for parents to prevent their…
OAKLAND, Calif. — The cautionary tale of long-time road dog and punk scene veteran “Wild” Bill Ketchum is reportedly being taken as encouragement by struggling…
DODGE CITY, Kan. — Local adult Amelie Hartman was spotted pathetically trying to keep up with the latest trends by parting her hair down the…
FERNDALE, Mich. — Thirty-year-old male Ryan Hess took a significant step toward curating a sophisticated and presentable home space when he reached out to his…
LEWISBURG, Pa. – 31-year-old Cole Geleski, who readily admits that his college years were the best time of his life, mercilessly made fun of an…
LOS ANGELES — The Red Hot Chili Peppers shocked jurors and courtroom personnel at the California State Court House on Thursday by replacing the famous…
SAN FRANCISCO — Big-city punk Oliver Lewis recently got the name of his hometown, “Kingston,” tattooed across his stomach despite not visiting the Massachusetts town…
Whoa there, buddy. I didn’t come to this party to cultivate new friendships or trick people into connecting with me on LinkedIn. I came here…
ENCINO, Cali. — West coast hip hop artist Travis MacKinnon, known in the music world as Beezy P, admitted that the only form of communication…
LOS ANGELES — Local man Peter Thurman is pretty certain nobody can tell he frequently uses his COVID mask as a cloth napkin for yet-to-be…
CLEVELAND — A group of disgruntled, shoeless punks met each other’s empty gazes in a foyer as they attempted to find their own black leather…
FRESNO, Calif. — Local golden retriever DeeDee is utterly ashamed at owner Ben “Stank Beav” Carlisle’s insistence on dragging his itchy, bare ass on their…
DALLAS — Local woman Claudia Rodriguez was stunned this afternoon upon receiving an email approving maintenance for an apartment she has not lived in since…