ROCHESTER, N.Y. — Lead vocalist Avery Winters of metalcore mainstays Yellow Ochre pulled a fast one and let a drunk fan shout the chorus on…
DALLAS — Patrons of the NorthPark Center believed they witnessed a Christmas miracle when a mall Santa with a very prominent Pantera tattoo refrained from…
FREDERICTON, New Brunswick — Local DIY venue Zamboni’s recently installed a state-of-the-art false amp head that allows drunk patrons to incessantly tweak the sound knobs…
DALLAS – Local man Shane Whitlock recently blew the two-drink minimum at a small, laid-back music venue clear out of the fucking water, according to…
RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Local dive bar Bog Hill, an establishment notorious for over-serving customers, fights, and unsanitary conditions, shocked regulars and locals alike by rebranding…
PITTSBURGH – A prototype driverless car, manufactured by local technology start-up High Drive, crashed into a telephone pole and was issued a DUI on its…
CANASTOTA, N.Y — A rough-looking carnival worker sporting a Pantera shirt responsible for running a Ferris wheel made it certain he could give you and…
DETROIT — Frustrated wife Hannah Gerhardt figured out how to install a breathalyzer on her husband’s acoustic guitar which would keep the hardshell case locked…
MORGANTOWN, W.V. — Self-proclaimed party animal Derek Plomchock astounded friends and roommates by somehow surpassing three sturdily locked doors and projectile vomiting into a laundry…
BLOOMINGTON, Ind. — Pretentious bourbon sniffer Patrick Welles is ruining the otherwise fun vibes of an impromptu house party hang with his talk of tasting…
LINCOLN, Neb. — Local drunk Peter Brooks was outraged to find that despite holding the high score on the bar’s AC/DC pinball machine bartender Ben…
All I’ve heard my entire life is that alcohol is bad for my body, it’s destroying my insides, it’s gonna send me to an early…
I remember bouncing on my father’s knee when I was just a boy, his breath that comforting aroma of Milwaukee’s Best and 711 taquitos. He…
BOSTON — Friends and relatives of local resident, Brian Gibbs, have reported that the 28-year-old has insisted for years that his frequent tremors are due…
BERKELEY, Calif. — An elite panel of alternative medical professionals announced that the common identifier “California Sober” is being expanded to include both psilocybin (magic…