BERKELEY, Calif. — An elite panel of alternative medical professionals announced that the common identifier “California Sober” is being expanded to include both psilocybin (magic…
SPRINGFIELD, Mo. — Local man Jerrod Wader was seen advising caution to a group of friends leaving his home during a St. Patrick’s Day party…
LOS ANGELES — Literary agent and frequent binge drinker Lana Delano has no idea that despite her protests, California’s statewide 2 a.m. last call is…
ALEXANDRIA, Va. — Local man Greg Fitzwater began scrolling through his targeted ads to try to piece together what happened after waking up from a…
AUBURN, Maine — Local resident Charles Brennan’s screen door proved to be an effective way to measure the sobriety of guests at his house party…
It’s always embarrassing when people come to your home and it’s one of the 358 days out of the year that your place is a…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local man Will Chalke shared his health-conscious drinking regime this morning, noting that – in order to keep himself in check –…
It’s been over a year and you’ve been crushing your sobriety. Over twelve straight months without a drop of alcohol has led to improvements in…
AMHERST, N.Y. — Claudia Piper has selected the dress that she will vomit André Spumante all over this New Year’s Eve, most likely while in…
INDIANAPOLIS – A small but visibly-confused group of free thinkers stormed the HI-FI Annex stage to incoherently question the connection between weight gain and drinking…
GARY, Ind. — Cass Pollard was shocked this Christmas to discover that their partner’s family apparently opens Christmas presents stone-cold sober the entire time, sources…
PORTLAND, Ore. — Perpetual IPA drinker Benson Watley is reportedly relieved, albeit secretly, that he can now enjoy hard seltzers without the social stigma once…
LAUGHLIN, Nev. — Touring band Jug Blowers attempted to avoid the drama of last year’s disastrous holiday festivities by enacting a firm two drink ticket…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local mother Meredith Ashby displayed a performative expression of surprise and intrigue at a neighborhood cookout yesterday afternoon after reaching into the…
As a civil-minded person, I take a lot of pride in doing my part to keep people safe. When my coworkers started going to Killigan’s…