30 Band Shirts That Will Get You Flagged By The TSA If You Wear Them to the Airport

Posted on by Tim Graham

It’s natural to want to express your love for your favorite band, and you want to be comfy when traveling, so a well-worn, beloved band tee shirt might be an obvious choice of attire for air travel. However, TSA officers aren’t only looking out for guns and box cutters. They also keep an eye out for slogans and imagery on apparel which could be deemed offensive or threatening in order to flag potential problem passengers. Here are some band shirts you may want to avoid wearing unless being interrogated for hours in a secret back room at the airport is your kink. (If you want a shirt that probably won’t get you flagged at the airport you should check out our merch store.)

Explosions In The Sky

TSA officers would be correct in thinking other passengers might not want to see that particular arrangement of words on a shirt while they’re 30,000 feet in the air. They’ll probably ask you to turn your shirt inside out like it’s 1995 and you wore a Beavis and Butthead tee to school.
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Cop Shoot Cop

If you’re going to survive in this increasingly authoritarian world, it’s best if you can learn to blend in a little and avoid attention in public. Choose your battles: maybe go with an innocuous Dave Matthews Band shirt for the trip.

The Gun Club

Wearing a shirt with the word “gun” on it to the airport isn’t a great idea. Officers who belong to actual gun clubs won’t know what to make of your shirt, but they’ll rightfully assume it doesn’t refer to a place to shoot AR-15s and talk about Joe Rogan.

Three Doors Down

If you get spotted wearing this shirt by a divorced, middle-aged, beer-swilling TSA officer, you may get flagged as a “cool guy who likes good music”, getting you an invite to a private Telegram group where they discuss the band and also goon-out to insurrection fantasies.

Insane Clown Posse

ICP are officially categorized as a criminal street gang by the FBI, so you’ll definitely be flagged if you walk around in hatchet man apparel. If you cause a scene (as Juggalos are wont to do) be sure to let out a few loud “whoop whoops” while you’re being hogtied to add some excitement to TikTok videos of your arrest.

Burning Airlines

You can try explaining that Burning Airlines was one of J. Robbins’ bands, but unfortunately the security officer swabbing your hands for explosive residue has never even heard of Jawbox—unbelievable, right?

Terror

Obviously “terror” isn’t a word you want to bandy about in an airport. To longtime fans such as yourself, the word evokes the legendary LA beatdown band. But to a TSA officer, “terror” in any context is a big red flag and you may wind up being subjected to a beatdown of a different kind.

Body Count

Most of us can appreciate “Cop Killer” for being ahead of its time with its ACAB message. Of course, you’re in for a bad time if you attempt to board a plane wearing that shirt. The only thing that might save you is if you plead ignorance and claim you’re just a big fan of Ice T’s work on “Law & Order: SVU.”

Bomb the Music Industry!

You’re just asking for it, aren’t you? A good rule of thumb is to avoid talking about or otherwise referencing bombing anything at the airport. If you wind up getting arrested, it couldn’t hurt to ask Jeff Rosenstock to organize a fundraiser to help with your legal fees.

Arsames

Iranian death metal band Arsames risks imprisonment and death simply by existing. Wearing an Arsames shirt in Iran or the US is bound to get you noticed by the authorities—because if there’s anything the two countries’ governments can agree upon, it’s their mutual disdain for Satan-worshiping and heavy metal.

Cannibal Corpse

This shirt will get you flagged—not necessarily for the vile artwork, but because the word “cannibal” suggests you’d be among the first to start hungrily eyeballing other survivors in the event of a crash in the remote wilderness.

Millions of Dead Cops

TSA officers aren’t law enforcement; most are just working-class people trying to get by. However, a portion of them are bitter wannabes who failed out of the police academy and are eager to exercise their modicum of power in order to make your life hell.

Neutral Milk Hotel

You just wanted to rep your indie cred with an NMH shirt. However, the figure giving a vaguely Nazi-esque salute might cause some concern to a TSA officer. Prepare to be grilled with questions like, “What’s going to happen to the aeroplane over the sea? What do you know?”

Rage Against the Machine

TSA officers aren’t concerned that someone wearing a RATM shirt is going to start shit on ideological grounds—but they do know there’s a decent chance someone wearing one is a contrarian normie who’s likely to get drunk and shout “Fuck you, I won’t do what you tell me!” when the flight attendant asks them to stop vaping in the bathroom.

Isis

The band Isis chose their name years before the Islamic State adopted the moniker of ISIS. Good luck describing the impact that Isis the band had on the post-metal landscape to a grumpy TSA officer who did two tours in Afghanistan.

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Man With Bisexual Girlfriend Super Excited for International Women’s Day

Posted on by Sarah Cortina

LOS ANGELES — Local man Paul Jones admitted he is thrilled to celebrate the most important woman in his life this International Women’s Day: his bisexual girlfriend, multiple sources confirmed.

“Yeah, ever since my niece painted two of my nails, I’ve been really in touch with my femininity. I realized women are so important. Without them, who would we have sex with? I mean, procreate with? I mean, respect as equals in both the workplace and the home,” said Jones while creating a “shared” Tinder account. “I’m so lucky to have so many important women in my life. My mom. My sister. The girl whose Only Fans I keep forgetting to unsubscribe from. But most importantly, my amazing and extremely bisexual girlfriend Bella. I hope that we get to do something exciting for the holiday. Someone different, maybe. I think that would make us both really happy. As long as it’s not like that one scene in ‘Deadpool,’ I’m not sure I’m there yet.”

Jones’ girlfriend Bella Chin seemed less thrilled about the prospect of celebrating the day with him.

“He keeps asking me if we’re having a threesome. And asking why women get a whole day when we ‘already have Valentine’s Day’ and then he said something about how the pay gap ‘doesn’t exist anymore’ for some reason,” said Chin exasperatedly. “It’s not even a real holiday. International Women’s Day is just an excuse for the most annoying women you know to post pictures of their homogenous friend groups. All I really want today is 45 minutes to myself where I can just sit in silence and reflect on how I need to find a new partner.”

Couples therapist Janet Green lent her expertise regarding Jones and Chin’s relationship.

“To be honest, I’m surprised they have lasted this long. It seems their only common interest is women,” Green said while shaking her head. “I see this dynamic all the time. The man thinks he has a free pass to pretend to be progressive because his girlfriend is bisexual, and then the second he can ask for a threesome under the guise of some sort of gift, he absolutely will. From what I can see, I think it would be better if they both went separate ways, holiday be damned.”

At press time, Jones was found girlfriend scouting in the GA section of a Phoebe Bridgers concert and in a newly gentrified neighborhood.

Ethical Non Monogamy? I Flirted With My Barista’s Replacement

Posted on by Sarah Cortina

Well, I’ve gotten to the stage that everyone gets to at some point in their relationship. The part where you either break up or ask for a third. I know what you’re thinking. Oh, I’m the asshole. Oh, I have a pornography addiction. For your information, I only consume feminist porn. You know, porn that only has women in it. This is the 21st century. These are modern times! Who says you can’t have your ethically made gluten-free paleo crumb cake and eat it too? Cheating is rooted in lying and dishonesty so by the transitive property it’s not cheating if you tell them you’re doing it.

Why ethical non-monogamy? Well, it’s complicated, much like our entire relationship. It started the day we met. I remember it like it was yesterday. The sparkle in her eye and nose stud. She asked me “oat milk or almond milk?” I told her I go both ways. We both laughed and then sat in complete silence while she finished my order. It was like fireworks. There was something between us.

But that was a while ago (last Tuesday). It got to the point where I didn’t even have to tell her my order anymore. She hears my footsteps on the floor, and before she can push the Arctic Fox dyed hair out of her eye, she’s got my flat white brewing. It felt so routine, so dull. Sometimes I’d ask for a matcha, just to feel that spark again. But then before I knew it, she was gone. I was told she “had booked a role” and that “this job was just paying the bills until she made it as an actress”. Everything we’d built, destroyed. I was left devastated.

But as they say, life goes on. There’s someone…else. Someone new. She seems to just have a zest for life. Every time I see her I feel like I’m 21 again, and that’s not just because I’ve smoked weed every day since then. I get to tell her all my jokes, and she laughs like she’s never heard them, because she hasn’t heard them. Or maybe she has. Did I mention I’ve smoked weed every day since I was 21? She draws hearts in my lattes. When I ask for non-dairy milk, she won’t charge me extra, and she gives me a wink. I have to BEG my girl to give me the stale pastries they were going to fucking throw out anyways. I think that for the sake of this relationship, there needs to be a change. Something new. SomeONE new.

Oh, and her replacement never asks “Is that it?” with the tip.

Woman Drunk With Power From International Women’s Day Open Carries Tampon to Office Bathroom

Posted on by Jennifer Donovan

NEW YORK — Local woman Pam Carter was reportedly so amped up from another raucous International Women’s Day that she openly carried a tampon down a long hallway to her office’s bathroom, confirmed multiple bearded, aghast sources.

“I usually conceal my tampon in an empty Doritos bag in my purse then put my purse in a sealed Amazon box then stash the box inside a lockable filing cabinet,” said Carter. “It’s a hassle to haul the whole filing cabinet back and forth to the restroom, but I’m not playing that game. Not today the most sacred of days. I’m gonna let everyone know I have this tampon and that it will soon be inserted inside me. The looks everyone gave me were priceless, I just hope nobody files an HR complaint.”

Kyle Jones, an accountant who keeps a personal supply of Charmin under his desk, was offended by the sudden appearance of tampons in the open.

“Of course we all knew about Pam’s disgusting bathroom habit but it was easier to ignore when she wasn’t so in-your-face about it. There’s a time and a place for personal things like that and it’s not in the office, menstrual cycles should be saved for nighttime and weekends,” said Jones, while openly looking at NSFW images on his company computer. “When I think about what Pam does in the bathroom I think about blood and thinking about blood is scary. We all just felt a lot safer when she was dragging the file cabinet back and forth to the bathroom, although it did scratch up the floor remarkably.”

Will Tide, president of the Custodians Union Local 899, has seen firsthand the chaos open tampon use has caused.

“I’ve always been a supporter of women’s rights but historically there’s an uptick in bathroom issues the week after International Women’s Day. We make sure to send out multiple reminders about the delicate pipes in the offices that make up our great city,” said Tide. “We know most men in an office environment get worked up which leads to them making more trips to the bowl and I have my suspicions that they are bringing in toilet paper from an outside source. 2-ply. These old pipes can’t handle the additional ply! There’s been a lot of clogs.”

At press time, Mr. Tide was seen putting the door to the women’s bathroom at the Viacom offices back on its hinges as several employees had taken to opening the door via roundhouse kick while loudly condemning the patriarchy.

Joe Biden Spends The Entire State of The Union Explaining How True Emo Only Comes From The Washington D.C. Hardcore Scene

Posted on by Stephen Bell

WASHINGTON — Observers of Thursday’s State of The Union address were surprised by Joe Biden’s speech after he spent the entire time talking about how true Emo music only comes from the Washington, D.C hardcore scene and that all other forms of Emo are cheap imitations.

“Listen here Jack I’m telling you that Emo music must be from the D.C. hardcore scene and I ain’t talking pornography here for once,” said Biden in his opening remark. “Everyone claims they love Emo but most of the time they’re talking about Myspace pop-punk bands with dumb hair and eyeliner. Those posers can’t hold a candle to The Rites of Spring or Embrace. We need this country to come together, if we can’t agree on something like Emo then how are we going to agree on the economy? I want to make one thing clear; if you weren’t there in the ‘80s like I was when it all started then you ain’t talking Emo.”

Voters were somewhat confused about the direction that the President decided to take while giving the State of The Union.

“We are a divided nation right now so why would he decide to focus on such a divisive issue,” questioned Cory Thompson, a voter from Michigan. “I was hoping he would focus on something that would be less likely to get people mad. Some simple topics like what Israel’s ongoing genocide of the Palestinian people, abortion, trans rights, reparations for slavery, euthanasia, is water wet, literally anything that wouldn’t stir up a massive debate. I’m not sure I can vote for a guy who doesn’t consider Orchid an Emo band just and that’s a shame.”

The GOP rebuttal to the president’s speech, given by Alabama Senator Katie Britt, focused on how coastal elites bogart popular music.

“These snobs think that they’re so smart in their ivory towers and that they can gatekeep all of the music,” said an enraged Britt. “I love emo of all flavors and styles no matter where in the nation it comes from. That’s because I’m a true emo girl. When I say ‘rawr’ to my husband every night that’s me telling him I love him and darn it, that means something. I can still remember wearing my ripped black skinny jeans, purple poofy hair, and my Nightmare Before Christmas jacket with little holes in the sleeves to put my thumbs through while going through law school. I’ve been to more Warped Tour concerts than President Biden and I have the wristbands to prove it. Republicans believe that All Emo Matters no matter where it comes from.”

At press time, it was reported that Joe could be seen giving a long history lesson to the members of the Secret Service about how Ska came before Reggae.

David Byrne/Paramore Split Record Renews Hope That Paul Simon Will Finally Cover Disturbed Song

Posted on by Emma Jonas

NEW YORK – David Byrne’s recently released cover of Paramore’s “Hard Times,” recorded in response to Paramore’s cover of the Talking Heads classic “Burning Down the House,” reinvigorated enthusiasm among other cross-genre fanbases for a potential Paul Simon cover of a Disturbed song.

“Paul has said he liked our cover, but I always felt some doubt because he never expressed any interest in performing our music. Plus, one time I saw him walking around New York and when I tried to say hello his security guard shoved me and told me to stay back,” said Disturbed drummer Mike Wengren who originally had the idea for the band to cover the haunting, ethereal Simon & Garfunkel track. “It’s like when a neighbor brings you a casserole and you get the dish back empty. Like, it’s fine, but there’s kind of supposed to be something in there when it comes back to you. But you always feel so awkward asking.”

Paul Simon expressed a willingness to entertain the idea of a Disturbed cover.

“I’m not opposed to the idea of a cover,” said Simon while out to lunch with Lorne Michaels. “For a long time I thought it wouldn’t really fit my sound, but as I get a little older I’ve really started to relate to the lyrics of ‘Down With the Sickness,’ especially the part where they say ‘why can’t you just fuck off and die? Never stick your hand in my face again bitch, fuck you, I don’t need this shit, you stupid sadistic fucking whore…’ And I think they would sound groovy with some Travis picking and backup vocals by Ladysmith Black Mambazo.”

Music historian Emilie Koeritz says a Simon take on Disturbed’s music could indicate a new era of intergenre creation.

“Covers have always existed in a controversial liminal space, both ideologically and legally,” Koeritz said. “If Paul Simon closes the loop on Disturbed’s work then maybe we could finally get The Who covering a Limp Bizkit song that people have spent decades clamoring for. We want to see these cover swaps happen before more artists pass away, the world would be a better place if Marvin Gaye were around today to cover a Taproot song, or if Kurt Cobain was still with us so Nirvana could cover Evanescence.”

At press time, alarming reports of Kid Rock fans pestering Elton John to cover “Bawitdaba” were unfortunately surfacing.

Every Kylesa Album Ranked Worst to Best

Posted on by Nigel Powers

Formed by Laura Dern’s metal clone, Laura Pleasants, Kylesa provided walls of swampy sludge, straight from Savannah, Georgia, right to your ear bones. Joined by fellow riffster and singer Philip Cope and longtime drummer and the least hateable Carl (most hateable goes to Carl from the Walking Dead)in the form of Carl McGinley on drums for the majority of their career, hooo he, was it country bumping too, with sonics attune to the crushing weight of a fatty gator pasta, to the light, earthy atmospherics of gumbo with mushrooms added for “flavor”, Kylesa sent you on a climb to new heights and dimension when they were active workhorses from the late 1990s until the dreaded “indefinite hiatus” in 2016, leaving a void that spirals into you in their absence.

A void we have decided to fill by reminding everyone about one of the best and most influential sludge metal bands of all time. So saddle up, partner, and prepare to stare into the void with us as we rank every Kylesa album from worst to best.

7. Exhausting Fire (2015)

More like exhausted fire, this album feels like a step back from the previous release “Ultraviolet,” with frankly doomier sounds, without as much gloom as previous records. The band sounds checked out man, and not in a good, tripping our manner, but in a fucking around on Excel until you get your paycheck and fuck off kind of way. Not a bad record by any stretch, but the band was clearly losing steam, and the ensuing hiatus should not have came as a surprise to anyone, but the band closed their career with one of the best and most inventive Black Sabbath covers ever with a beautiful, ethereal “Paranoid” laying Kylesa peacefully to rest (for now).

Play It Again: Crusher
Skip It: Lost and Confused

6. Self-Titled (2002)

No, the band didn’t start their career with a Metallica cover, but it would have been poetic if they did, as their career bookends with another cover of a legendary metal band. This album is Kylesa at their rawest, with much more extreme metal influences being thrown into the proverbial stew that was Kylesa’s evolving sound. This record definitely feels like a calibration record, with the band’s influence on clear display, whereas later records would see their ingredients mixed with more flair and pzazz that is uniquely their own, just like good and spicy Jambalaya on the Bayou where the meat is cooked juussstttt right.

Play It Again: “Testing of The Good of Man”
Skip It: “Descend Within”

5. To Walk A Middle Course (2005)

Kylesa in peak sludge metal form here, and ‘In Memory” kicks things off with a riff as memorable as it is crushing, and the rest of the riffs would make Tony Iommi and co. proud mixed with modern sensibilities, hence the death growls courtesy of noisy jowls, Laura and Phil really come into their own on this record as both guitarist, songwriters, and singers. While it may not have been the first Kylesa record, it was the one that clearly established them as a blazing force in modern metal (of both the riff and spliff variety). The only really bad thing to say about this album is that it doesn’t quite hit the highs of later albums, but you gotta test your rockets before you make a moon landing, and while Kylesa doesn’t quite land on the moon, closing track “Crashing Slow” makes us feel like we’re damn close.

Play It Again: “Welcome Mat To An Abandoned Life”
Skip It: “Eyes Closed From Birth”

4. Spiral Shadows (2010)

More atmospheric and expansive when compared to its predecessor, this record is not a drag, but it does take a drag off you, just like the weed plant in the first Scary Movie lighting up Shorty, which makes sense when coming off hot from Static Tensions. This to say, the record is on fire, and if you don’t play it at the right speed on your record player, it may just get hot enough to start a fire, but it also functions as a better lighter than your stove element when your mate has pocketed your lighter, getting two birds stoned at once without having to leave your living room.

Play It Again:…One Big Mac With Bacon Please, after climbing the Mcdonald’s steps through a “Tired Climb”
Skip it: No, I’m Good

3. Ultraviolet (2013)

Kylesa’s most straight-up moon orbit record, there’s less aggression here than all of the previous records but that’s not such a bad thing. Phil and Laura firmly cement their place as the Dave Murray and Adrian Smith of sludge, and masters of the guitar trudge, with the ever-reliable Mr. McGinnley on drums, and Eric Hernandez playing bass, drums AND Guitar on this record, there’s more talent on display here than on many contemporary records. Satisfies like a Po’boy when you have the munchies.

Play It Again: ‘Exhale,” right after a faaatttt inhale on a spliff
Skip It: Nah, you’re next in rotation

2. Time Will Fuse Its Worth (2006)

Starting off as slow thicc Southern gravy, with just as rich and complex a flavor profile, a funky taste too, and quite frankly, were not sure quite what’s going on now, apparently the flower is turning into some person and their face on the album cover, but the vibes are good man, lots of weird song structures, this album is both crushing and uplifting at the same time. Woooaaaaahhhh!!! And if we’re not, we’re just dust in the wind dude, one with all and all with one, and if anything is worth anything, time will surely fuse its worth. We’re cool, we swear.

Play It Again: “What Becomes an End”
Skip It: Intro, and Outro

1. Static Tensions (2009)

“Scapegoat” starts the album by creating an aural experience mimicking the feels and spirals sometimes provided on little strips of paper, this is not just an album but an experience. The two-drummer setup kicks the Grateful Dead’s sorry hippie asses to the curb with an experience just as psychedelic but without all that wonk wonk guitar crap, rending splendor for all of your sense holes. Serious props to Phillip Cope on not just the guitar, but the production as well, providing the right balance of filth and fervor, perfecting the sound to a collection of perfect songs, with a sound cleaner than your average hippie or crustie, defining haut sludge.

Play It Again: Yeah dude!
Skip It: …huh, nah I’m good Man.

36-Year-Old Didn’t Expect to Have Entered the “Did You Hear Who Died?” Phase of Life Already

Posted on by Tim Sheard

BUFFALO, N.Y. — Aging tricenarian Colleen Myers admitted to being surprised by the sheer amount of conversations she is having about acquaintances passing when catching up with friends, those close to Myers who are still alive reported.

“You have that time in your 20s when you are shocked to hear about someone you went to school with who died in a car accident or drugs or whatever. It’s always a tragedy but you can make sense of it,” Myers said while attending a much postponed check-up with her doctor. “But now it is just so casual. It seems like every time I talk to someone I hear about people my age just dying… like, of natural causes. Their body would just stop working, and I’m afraid that can happen to me at any moment. I didn’t expect this to start happening at least until my 40s.”

Friends of Myers have taken notice of just how hard she seems to take the news of others’ passing.

“I actually didn’t even tell her about Gregory Wheeler’s heart attack. We used to play Nintendo in Greg’s basement, I just don’t think [Myers] could handle it,” said Heidi Parsons, a grade school friend of Myers, while attending another memorial service. “We are all struggling with getting older but Colleen is taking it harder than most. I remember always thinking it was weird that every time my parents ran into someone in the store or something all they would do is swap stories about someone who died. I guess we all become our parents eventually, but even when my parents were in their late 30s I thought they were nearly 100 years old.”

Noted Gerontologist Dr. Isabel Romero, PhD of Cornell University explained that this phase of life is something everyone goes through.

“It is the hallway gossip for adults, everyone wants to be the first person to pass around the news that someone even remotely tangentially close to them has died,” Romero explained. “We all reach this stage in life where the only interesting thing we have to talk about with other people is death and the weather. This has only gotten worse with the invention of social media where you find out about the passing of old classmates you otherwise wouldn’t have even thought about in twenty years.”

When reached for an update, Myers had taken a week of mental health leave after hearing someone she used to play soccer with, whose name she couldn’t recall, died while shoveling their driveway.

Photo by Marielle Kho

Uh Oh, It’s Time to Actually Do the Things You Were Sexting About

Posted on by Charles Bill

So it finally happened. You met someone on Tinder and have been sexting them for the past week and a half. You were supposed to meet last week, but you were too stoned and you had to rain check. Now the time has come. You actually have to do the things you were sexting about. Fortunately, as long as you follow the coming advice you’ll be out of there with only minimal embarrassment.

It’s essential that you act like you’ve been here before. When you were sexting you talked about all kinds of wild things, things you’ve only read about or seen in esoteric pornography. You cannot let your partner know that you are essentially crafting a fantasy narrative. Fake it until you make it and pretend that you know how to use your genitals even if you don’t. Loudly project confidence in the hopes that it’ll trick the other person.

Stretch first. The things you were sexting about require flexibility that you’ve never had, so you need to limber up a bit, otherwise you’ll throw out your back. Speak confidently, pretend that you’re texting, but use your voice to say the words.

Whatever you do, don’t recoil in shame when you hear yourself dirty talking. If you could stand saying it through SMS you can stand hearing it in your goofy ass voice.

Drink plenty of water. You don’t want to have to tap out three minutes into mutual disappointment for a sweat break. You want to be able to keep up your pale imitation of your sexting persona for as long as possible.

It’s essential you review your texts before you meet up with your partner. You’ve made campaign promises, and now you’re in office and have to fulfill them. Remind yourself of all of the ridiculous things you promised to do to them, order a five-gallon tub of lube from Costco and give it your best shot. Who knows, you might actually be good at sex and not know about it. Probably not, but maybe?

Suicidal Tendencies Now Going By “Suicidal Ideation” After Making Progress In Therapy

Posted on by Kimberly Scott

LOS ANGELES — Members of Suicidal Tendencies announced they will be changing their band name to Suicidal Ideation after reaching an important milestone in therapy this week, multiple sources confirmed.

“I heard for years that I should talk about what was bothering me but I didn’t want to end up in a white shirt with long sleeves. People were always saying you’ll probably feel a lot better if you talk about it. But I’ll be honest, the last time I allowed myself to be vulnerable was when I asked my mom for a Pepsi and she insisted I was using drugs,” said Suicidal Ideation frontman Mike Muir. “I always had a bad view of therapy. I figured by the time they fix my head, that you know, mentally I’ll be dead. But I’m changed, I’ve put in the work, and I feel so refreshed that I’m barely suicidal.”

After noticing dramatic improvements in his own psyche, Muir went on to encourage the rest of the band to seek the help that they needed.

“At first we weren’t sure why he wanted us to get involved, we thought it would be more of a ‘Mike’ thing. When I was asked to join the band back in 2018 I had some baggage, but I didn’t think rehearsals would eventually be observed by a therapist that had us walk through our feelings after each song,” said guitarist Ben Weinman of The Dillinger Escape Plan. “It’s a lot of work, for sure. But Mike’s right talking things over with a professional has been great for us. And like our therapist says ‘Just cause you don’t understand what’s going on don’t mean it don’t make no sense. And just cause you don’t like it, don’t mean it ain’t no good.’”

Suicidal Ideation is just one among many in a growing trend of bands seeking mental health treatment.

“I’ve worked with many bands over the years and their subsequent material after working with me is universally loved,” said noted therapist Dr. Daniel Liverton. “Back in 2009 I worked with Rivers Cuomo and the rest of Weezer and later that year they released ‘Raditude.’ Which is still considered a classic of the genre. I also worked with Blink-182 when they released ‘Neighborhoods’ and that album is full of fan favorites.”

At press time, Muir was overheard mumbling something about how it “doesn’t matter I’ll probably get hit by a car anyway.”