I often find myself disorganized, tired, and way behind on various tasks and projects. I complain about it often, and I started to get really…
I was feeling really frustrated with my career progression (or lack thereof). So, I decided to just do what every mouth breather said I should…
Ever since I discovered BDSM Tumblr as a youth, I have dreamt of dying at the hands of horned-up sadistic hellspawn. I dedicated my life…
The goal of a man is to identify his weaknesses, eliminate them, and then start crushing life right in the asshole. At least, that’s what…
VENTURA, Calif. — 30-year-old Magnus Hahn made last night’s show all about him after picking up the Faulty Mechanics singer’s knocked over mic stand in…
KNOXVILLE, Tenn. — No wave/post-punk musician Isla Porter’s only goal in music is to become famous enough to meet a GoFundMe goal should a medical…
You’ve waited for what feels like hours. Your mouth is watering. Your nose smells the moist warmth of the starchy tuber. It’s finally time to…
Imagine this: It’s a perfectly sunny day and you decide to sit outside strumming your acoustic guitar under the shady branches of a towering oak…
You know how people joke about defeating a small business in a lawsuit when something goes wrong so badly that they’ll end up owning it?…
Get this, hepcats: we sat down with one of the red hot jazz combos of our times, the Frankie Tops Quintet, and wouldn’t you know…
Somebody help! I just listened to every Pavement album in a row, and now even the simplest conversation is like taking a giant ramrod to…
MARLINTON, W.V. — Local truck owner John “John-Boy” Johnson recently employed his heavy duty 2020 GMC Sierra to move a friend’s old posters and a…

Man Wondering if One of the Horny MILFs in His Area Could Maybe Just Show Him How to Iron His Shirts
SUMMERVILLE, S.C. — Local man Aaron Metcalfe is hoping today that one of the apparently hundreds of horny MILFs in his area advertised on PornHub…