Imagine this: It’s a perfectly sunny day and you decide to sit outside strumming your acoustic guitar under the shady branches of a towering oak…
You know how people joke about defeating a small business in a lawsuit when something goes wrong so badly that they’ll end up owning it?…
Get this, hepcats: we sat down with one of the red hot jazz combos of our times, the Frankie Tops Quintet, and wouldn’t you know…
Somebody help! I just listened to every Pavement album in a row, and now even the simplest conversation is like taking a giant ramrod to…
MARLINTON, W.V. — Local truck owner John “John-Boy” Johnson recently employed his heavy duty 2020 GMC Sierra to move a friend’s old posters and a…
Man Wondering if One of the Horny MILFs in His Area Could Maybe Just Show Him How to Iron His Shirts
SUMMERVILLE, S.C. — Local man Aaron Metcalfe is hoping today that one of the apparently hundreds of horny MILFs in his area advertised on PornHub…
WASHINGTON — President Donald Trump recently called into Hannity to boast about the minimal help he needed beating the entire series of Professor Layton games…
CHICAGO — Logan Square resident Nick McMahon is enjoying the social capital gained from his passionate tweets against police brutality, but secretly hopes others don’t…
I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty good-looking guy. You wouldn’t hire me to model in GQ or anything, but I’ve heard a lot…
RICHMOND, Ind. — Depressed man Mike Calkins’s cries for help yesterday were laughed off again by friends and colleagues, due to his frequent use of…
VINELAND, N.J. — Amateur musician Ted Kuraczewski pulled into a Guitar Center parking lot Saturday morning to scout and hire day laborers to help complete…
SEATTLE — Friar Radcliffe drummer Daniel McCleary was allegedly annoyed late last night by the persistent bashing of his floor tom by frontman Jeffrey Wilderman…
LODI, N.J — The Crimson Ghost, the longtime logo for the Misfits, successfully passed its algebra test last week thanks to after-school tutoring from a…