NEW YORK — Local poser James Morgan reportedly wore a bald cap over his luscious head of hair in order to fit in at an…
Someone has got to stop him. He keeps doing it and it’s not funny. It wasn’t funny the first time and it’s not funny now,…
Oh shit. Oh fuck. I messed up so bad. This was NOT what I expected AT ALL. Adopting this portion of West Huguenot Road was…
KERFUFFLEVILLE — Bozo, a punk mouse living in the fictional children’s book town of Kerfuffleville, has reportedly taken up residence in a Marlboro Red carton,…
SACRAMENTO, Calif. — Local punk, Joel Locke, reportedly mistook a waitress’s inherent kindness as an invitation to make her watch a 2008 YouTube video of…
You know, it’s hard being an administrative assistant at the 7th most successful personal injury law firm in the larger Madison, Wisconsin metropolitan area. You…
RIVERSIDE, Calif. — Pathetic fucking nerd James Flick admitted that he knows the names of every band member in every single band he likes, confirmed…
I’m a very, very, VERY busy man. It’s SO HARD running a successful small business out of the back of my gigantic 2015 Ford F-150…
PHILADELPHIA — Local Punk, Sid Stott, announced his plans to improve his health and well-being by smoking healthier cigarettes in the New Yea, skeptical sources…
Well, well, well…look who we have here. If it isn’t Mr. “Punk” himself… That’s what you call yourself, right? “Punk”? That’s funny because I don’t…
PEEKSKILL, N.Y. — A neglected acoustic guitar belonging to local man Phil Everett reportedly plays itself to sleep each night in an effort to escape…
Meeee-owwww! Isn’t food great? The way it tastes, the way it smells, the way my little kitty cat body involuntarily begins to float through the…
NEW YORK — Recently discovered journals from the founder of the famed punk and hardcore club CBGB revealed that the venue’s name originally stood for…
LAS VEGAS — Former Vice President Mike Pence dropped out of the 2024 presidential race Saturday after grazing a door knob previously touched by a…