The Next Turnstile? This Boomer on Facebook Types in All Caps
Mention Turnstile around a hardcore kid and you’ll get a range of reactions. Some offer calm, measured takes like, “Good…
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Ryan Dondero — Page 2
It was my very first sleepover party, and everything was going great. My parents warned me that staying the night at someone else’s house could be “scary” and “new,” and that if anything went wrong, I should call them immediately.
43 stories found
Study Finds You Can Just Walk Out of Target With Stuff and You Probably Won’t Get Caught
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — A new study from the University of Michigan revealed that you can basically just walk out…
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Warmer Weather Briefly Turns Punk Into Sublime Guy
MINNEAPOLIS — Local punk Steve “Vomit” Parker reportedly began his annual metamorphosis into a Sublime guy after temperatures cracked the…
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Help! Jeff Rosenstock Broke Into My House and Is Making Ska Versions of All of My Records
It all started three and a half weeks ago when Tall Mike left the fucking back door unlocked and ajar…
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Thrash Metal Fan Listens to Doom Metal Records at 78 RPM
OAKLAND, Calif. — Local thrash metal fan Zack Holloway reportedly plays doom metal records at 78 RPM in a desperate…
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Man Who Spent 40 Minutes Talking About Steely Dan on First Date Confident It Went Great
DALLAS — Local man Dave Hensley is confident that his first date with Rachel Caldwell went well, despite talking about…
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Local Band With Just Drummer and Guitarist Must Have Time Traveled From 2011
SAN DIEGO — Local indie noise band Static Teeth, which consists of just a drummer and a guitarist, left confused…
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Punk Halloween Party Has Guests Bob for Cigarettes
ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Local punk Roxy Molloy reportedly invited guests to bob for cigarettes at her annual Halloween party…
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Lowe’s to Begin Selling 14-Foot Glenn Danzig
MOORESVILLE, N.C. — Lowe's executives announced plans to introduce a 14-foot tall Glenn Danzig ahead of the upcoming Halloween season,…
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Hypocritical Much?: This Boutique Retail Shop With “Trading Post” in Its Name Won’t Let Me Exchange My Beaver Pelts for Their Artisanal Soaps
Names used to mean something. They carried weight, tradition, and integrity. But not, apparently, for Wildflower Trading Post and Gifts—an…
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