Audiophile Gets Hepatitis C From Dirty Vinyl Needle
BALTIMORE — A health and musical disaster occurred today as a man contracted hepatitis C from a dirty vinyl needle,…
Read More →
Charles Bill
66 stories found
Horror Movie Monster Sick of Representing People’s Trauma
HAUNTED TOWN, British Columbia — Frustration boiled over today as a monster from a horror movie announced that it was…
Read More →
We Sat Down With Jonah Hill and Told Him to Just Knock It off Already
I sat in the restaurant waiting for Jonah to show up. I was nervous. Jonah Hill is a big actor,…
Read More →
Weird: This Person Who Listed Their Political Affiliation as ‘Moderate’ on Dating App Seems To Love Donald Trump
Sometimes things are not what they seem. A blessing might be a curse, a horse might be a donkey, and…
Read More →
Anthropologists Discover Uncontacted Metal Subgenre
STOCKHOLM, Sweden — Leading musical anthropologists announced that they have discovered a previously uncontacted metal genre, confirmed sources. “I was…
Read More →
Stephen Miller Admits He’s Just Building Aryan Nation Cred for His Inevitable Imprisonment
WASHINGTON — Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller admitted that he’s just building Aryan Nation credibility for his inevitable imprisonment,…
Read More →
Man Will Kill One Hostage an Hour Until His Friends Give Ween a Chance
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A local disturbed man took bankgoers hostage and threatened to execute one every hour until his friends…
Read More →
Erika Kirk Takes Quiet Moment To Mourn With Only Six Confetti Cannons
PHOENIX, Ariz. — A somber Erika Kirk took a quiet, personal moment to mourn her late husband with only six…
Read More →
Dom Forces Sub to Read and Explain Board Game Rules
SAN FRANCISCO — The local kink community was fascinated today by a dom who compels their sub to both read…
Read More →
Doubling Down: Tarantino Just Admitted He Hates Movies and When He Sees an Actor He Wants to Throw Up
Wow. The cinematic world was just rocked once more as Quentin Tarantino doubled down on his previous statements on Paul…
Read More →