Horror Movie Monster Sick of Representing People’s Trauma
HAUNTED TOWN, British Columbia — Frustration boiled over today as a monster from a horror movie announced that it was…
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Charles Bill
65 stories found
We Sat Down With Jonah Hill and Told Him to Just Knock It off Already
I sat in the restaurant waiting for Jonah to show up. I was nervous. Jonah Hill is a big actor,…
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Weird: This Person Who Listed Their Political Affiliation as ‘Moderate’ on Dating App Seems To Love Donald Trump
Sometimes things are not what they seem. A blessing might be a curse, a horse might be a donkey, and…
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Anthropologists Discover Uncontacted Metal Subgenre
STOCKHOLM, Sweden — Leading musical anthropologists announced that they have discovered a previously uncontacted metal genre, confirmed sources. “I was…
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Stephen Miller Admits He’s Just Building Aryan Nation Cred for His Inevitable Imprisonment
WASHINGTON — Deputy Chief of Staff Stephen Miller admitted that he’s just building Aryan Nation credibility for his inevitable imprisonment,…
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Man Will Kill One Hostage an Hour Until His Friends Give Ween a Chance
BUFFALO, N.Y. — A local disturbed man took bankgoers hostage and threatened to execute one every hour until his friends…
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Erika Kirk Takes Quiet Moment To Mourn With Only Six Confetti Cannons
PHOENIX, Ariz. — A somber Erika Kirk took a quiet, personal moment to mourn her late husband with only six…
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Dom Forces Sub to Read and Explain Board Game Rules
SAN FRANCISCO — The local kink community was fascinated today by a dom who compels their sub to both read…
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Doubling Down: Tarantino Just Admitted He Hates Movies and When He Sees an Actor He Wants to Throw Up
Wow. The cinematic world was just rocked once more as Quentin Tarantino doubled down on his previous statements on Paul…
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Chill Atomic Scientist Sets Doomsday Clock to 4:20
CHICAGO — The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists shocked the world today with an announcement that their most chill scientist…
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