Democrats Divided on How to Not Respond to GOP Gerrymandering Wins
Democratic leaders are torn on what tactics to use in order to best not respond to last week's Virginia Supreme…
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Tim Sheard
136 stories found
Show Me the Rule That Says I Can’t Take a Rotisserie Chicken, That I’ve Already Paid For, Into the Piggly Wiggly Men’s Room
Alright, this is absolutely ridiculous. I am a long-time customer in good standing, and I just completed my weekly shopping…
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Nation’s Beefcakes Demand All ‘Appetite for Destruction’ Shirts Be Sold With Sleeves Pre-Cut
LOS ANGELES — The nation’s buff hunks have demanded all “Appetite for Destruction” shirts be sold with the sleeves already…
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Fuck It: Here Are Five Other Con Men From Queens We Can Also Elect to the Presidency
Jesus, how fucking stupid is this country for having elected the most obvious con man in America to the presidency…
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We Sat Down With Porn Enthusiast Mike Johnson To See What He and His Son Have Been Jacking off to Lately
If you’re reading this, we know you’re just as much of a fan of sucking, fucking, and stroking as we…
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The Next “Angel Is the Centerfold”? I Think My Old High School Crush Is in This Footjob Cumpilation
Few bands had a hit in the eighties that resonated with so broad an audience as J. Geils Band did…
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42-Year-Old Man Can’t Masturbate Until He Finds His Readers
PELHAM, N.H. — Local husband and father of two Randy Carlisle regularly misplaces his reading glasses, inhibiting his ability to…
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JD Vance Accidentally Gives Wife Valentine Addressed to Couch
WASHINGTON — Vice President JD Vance mistakenly gifted his wife Usha Vance a Valentine’s Day card that was meant for…
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You Know Who Isn’t in the Epstein Files? Cannibal Corpse and Corpsegrinder
Hey, Mom and Dad, you hear that? You hear it? Listen closely now. That is the sound of vindication. Oh,…
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Conservative Men Use Empty Melania Theaters for Grindr Hookups
WASHINGTON — Multiple D.C. area movie theaters say Republican members of Congress and congressional staffers have begun using empty screenings…
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