Grunge was a huge subgenre of alternative rock that sprang out of the Pacific Northwest in the mid-eighties before fizzling out of popularity about ten years later. Known for its heavy distortion, brooding atmosphere, and album covers with baby dicks on them, grunge took the world by storm and left almost as suddenly as it arrived. While doing a retrospective on the genre, we found five grunge albums without infant genitalia on them, so like, what’s wrong with them?
- Soundgarden – Superunknown
Loaded with hits, this stone cold classic features several songs that everybody will recognize regardless of whether they’re a grunge fan or even a general fan of music. That’s why we’re so confused that the album cover doesn’t have a baby dick on it. After all, this is a grunge album, right? Maybe we’re looking at this the wrong way? Oh well, maybe these will start to make sense further down the list.
- Alice in Chains – Facelift
Well, this one has a face on it, which is part of the body, but it appears to be of a grown man and the shot doesn’t extend beyond his collarbone, so we’re not really sure what this issue with this album was. We really enjoy the tunes on this, but the lack of underage schlong on the cover has us questioning its spot on this list.
- Green River – Rehab Doll
People say Green River is one of the first grunge bands, which we don’t really understand, because we looked at this album and all of their EPs, and there is nary a baby dick to be found. Please, if you consider yourself to be a music expert, comment on this article and let us know what’s wrong with this supposed grunge album.
- Mother Love Bone – Apple
Man, these “grunge” artists really loved putting themselves on their album covers, didn’t they? Too bad they didn’t take their music seriously enough, because if they did, these things would be swarming with unnecessary cocks instead of their obnoxious faces. To be completely honest, we didn’t even listen to this one because of this. Is it really a grunge album? Fuck if we know. We’re just going through the motions at this point.
- Nirvana – Bleach
You can go ahead and listen to this one if you want; just know that they hadn’t really matured yet to the point of perfecting their songwriting and hiring an unsuspecting baby to pose nude for their albums yet. Good thing these guys got their act together after this pathetic excuse for a grunge album by getting a newborn to hang dong for the cover photo.
