DUBLIN — A local moron obviously blind to his own idiocy stood around last night with a brand-new Gildan shirt wadded up in his clammy…
LOS ANGELES — Amateur clothing vendor and entrepreneur Brian Wessel is puzzled by his company’s lack of T-shirt sales after using the back side of…
VIENNA – Local punk, former drummer, and current Vienna Philharmonic timpanist Griffin “Scuzz” Boyle removed his shirt minutes into his performance last night at the…
GREENVILLE, S.C. — A black T-shirt frequently worn by local punk Ryan Matheson entered the “vaguely green” era of its life cycle after a standard…
ANAHEIM, Calif. — Local father Brett Donaldson let everyone at Disneyland know yesterday that “…he’s no fucking pussy” by proudly wearing his Hatebreed shirt on…
ORLANDO, Fla. — Metalhead Brad Fetterman spent several hours yesterday sewing the sleeves back on to his finest Dying Fetus T-shirt in preparation for his…
SAN DIEGO — Entomologists at the California Center for Insect Study published a paper today detailing the fascinating life cycle of the common Iron Maiden…
COLUMBUS, Ohio — A Wilco T-shirt mysteriously materialized last week in the closet of local man Steve Rosetti, the latest in a string of possibly…
CHAPEL HILL, N.C. — Detroit hardcore band Strength of Olympus implemented a new space and cost-saving measure during their most recent tour, printing just one…
COLUMBUS — Local man Louis Contreras enthusiastically noted Monday morning that a man wearing a Turnstile T-shirt was in the background of a breaking news…
AKRON, Ohio — Everyone attending last night’s metal show at the famed Forked Tongue venue thought your shirt was really cool, witnesses confirmed this morning.…
AUSTIN, Texas — A local Iron Maiden T-shirt came to the sudden realization yesterday, to its horror and disgust, that it was being sold at…
CHICAGO — Local man Tom Bencin, who recently spent $35 on a Pussyslaughter T-shirt that reads “#1 PUSSY MURDERER” in giant letters, has not yet…
TRENTON, N.J. — Local metalhead and office temp Sean Durham tested the boundaries of “Casual Friday” attire last week by wearing his beloved Goatwhore T-shirt…
HARTFORD, Conn. — Local comical shirt collector and self-described #Resistance member Jared Wayne was overjoyed this morning by the arrival of his months-old order for…
